I like it its my style of poem. Good language and I get your point. This poem containts a bit of feeling like mine do. A poet could come of you yet.

Love the last bit especially. ??

I like this one... cuz we've all been there.

Nice depth without losing the reader. Personally,leave it alone.8

TRUE DAT! But sometimes one must travel many wrong roads to find "their" road. Liked it.8

ashes are sometimes best rivered. 7.c

but of course and mars bars oozing out of her pockets.

if it can than it will....7.lovely

I smell an affair, but I don't understand the mechanics of Haiku.8 Can someone break Haiku down for me?I'd like to try one on for size.

as usual. wrongs all become right eventually. pure darwin.w

I never did like Taffy, but I ate it. I like this poem.

ah, but you are triumphant! you have the hart's blood! you have slain thy enemy, and eaten his still-beating (or, still brewing, as the case may be) heart! BRAVO!

'skinny necks like dishrags' - that's brilliant.Only just noticed.

taffy is a candy traditionally made with sugar and salt water. boil it down let it cool, pull and stretch it--wrap it in wax paper, and sell it to tourists. see: http://www.mtnlaurel.com/Recipes/taffy.htm or http://homepages.skylink.net/~skaarup/pages_candy/candy_09_taffy.html

Haven't I voted on this before? I like your relation of human age to geological time at the end and the general fear of being old.

This poem makes me happy. I built a whole world around it. This and Butcher are my favorites. I hope your girl appreciates your poetry. I off to enlightened the masses. Today we're talking about violencia domestica. Have a lovely evening.

that's really neato. aren't we lucky.t

yeah. yeah.r

i came...thanks 9.s

Business relationship gone sour? Cool though.7