poetandknowit
on Sunshine by alexander
1 Sep 2002, 12:09 PM
Clever. One of you better works. But again, 10?
Never!
Ugh! My favorite part of this is how you vote on it with your other personas. Lol. It is decent, but 10? More like 4/5.
it only counts if when she came...she sprayed piss all over you. that is all... moving on.
i can think of many reasons, many???
tim you are a fowler 11!1
How can something swing along in the still air?
Thanks both of you guys for actually taking interest in something I wrote. Most of the people on this site just rip people to shreds for no reason. I would also like to tell both of you that I enjoy your works very much. Thanks guys
I don't know what I was saying it was late, I'm fighting a cold. I'm blaming that last comment on my 101 temp. and my sinus medication. I'll be back later.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
1 Sep 2002, 11:04 AM
I enjoyed this. I am curious as to what the relationship is between the subject and Kevin. This is also the first time I have seen auburn and skin coupled together-interesting. I gave it 9/10
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
1 Sep 2002, 11:16 AM
Appellation (sp?), not sure about the use of Dark corp.-what does it mean ?
As if it never meant to be enough-lacks a verb I think.
I liked it. 7/10
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
1 Sep 2002, 11:18 AM
Scoring not working-I gave this a 9/10 and no score has shown up
Appellation is spelled right. Corp as in the military. Be is a verb. I'm curious, what does this poem say to you?
p.s. You are the first to allude to the misery of being His wife. I mean talk about living under a shadow, and yes He strays often, but that gives me more time to myself and my pleasures. Bored? not really, just flexing my lexicon. I think I might have pulled something last night. Ouch.
Woe is I. I liked until the end. Then it plopped as a lifeless defense mechanism. I wanted the first part to hold up. Blah!
Again, a decent go of it from the start but the last couple of lines are convoluted. It weakens the entire poem.
A bit melodramatic, but also a bit intriguing. where dreams go to die is a bit much but better overall.
I think you meant the last comment to be for Journey to the sun. If you'd like advice on your Diana poem I think squeals is definitely out, moan, cry, clamor, I don't keep playing with it. It's a dificult line. Also sexual intercourse and orgasm should be alluded to. Is it really 'Deeper' that your hoping for or more profound. Look up profound in the thesaurus and dictionary you'll probably come with something more accurate.
This is er...good.