no deeds, only mad thoughts without gender.

fatti maschii parole femine!

you give too much away, here. so sayeth i.

i like this, despite the forced rhymes. what is this victory you write of, if not p-u-s-h-e-d beyond endurance. so, the strains of 'must rhyme, must must must rhyme' are understandable...still wish it was easier on the eyes. sports-minded, and all

off to see my friends band sugar bitch, and then go to a Getty party, by guys...thanks also>lenore for your kind words..we've been mailing political urgent to each senator by the minute...viruses attached. bsee you fine feathered cads later...i must ablute..caio bellas!

i'm going to be myself (jeremi) tonight and try damn hard not to stack trash on the corner or speak in sever metaphors....thank god i'm not fucking driving. lol! it's my last weekend with long hair! damn those suit bastards! revolt!.....yeah whatever...DRINK! or maybe just watch everyone and wonder what i ever found appealing in all of this to begin with? sex.lies.gutterheads.junk.enlightenment.hoodclose. silence.

samson, enjoy. au revoir, mon cher

but they can also sing so sweetly. can't you hear their song, wafting gently from out the other side?

your words are alway like the wind in the trees to me, gently reassuring, although i hardly ever feel what you have felt. still, there is a warmth to their tone that is inescapable. i rarely comment, because i only begin to understand. you have your own ocean.

I hear the scratching at night. I know there's a Crutchling in my closet. Go check! Fuck you! I'm not looking!

I noticed you were Short on S. Not one JeSu could hold it on itS end. Now you go and do thiS? What would happen if you put it where it belongS? Is it Sin?

I know French is supposed to be all poetic and shit, but would you care to explain what "je n'ai pas l'embarrasement de cette choises..." means?

Cutting a sentence into lines does not a poem make. You should say this poem of yours out loud a few times, and find the natural divisions of the words. Listen carefully. Think about where you want to shock the reader with an unexpected linebreak. Buried treasures/full of pleasures would make an elegant internal rhyme if you were to bring those lines together.

This is a delicious, intense metaphor. I feel, however, that it is not very well crafted. I couldn't hold on to the images in my head because of the way they run into one another. Think about how you would read this poem to the subject, and punctuate for maximum effect. I feel like I say this again and again to people, "Read your work aloud," but poetry really is an art of sound and it needs to be spoken or sung.

i am -good- at many things; there are certain endeavors at which i excel... je n'ai pas l'embarrasement de cette choises...

hey z....my hood wink was hood winked damnit that bastards quick. i give him a 76/975! i hope he's grateful. i am grateful my nerves held out that long. wow. geez. it was scary...you know that twenty hour period between it's posting and now i'm glad it's over...now i know who to focus on! sometimes the shark forgets the fishing boat between it and the seals...i am neither of the three. pity

what are you tonight then, feathered fiend?

dominus vobiscum my friend..love mother.

>Deep within this madness my brain is hitching unhealthy rides< This is it. Fucking Spot On! 10 for that sentence alone.

how sayeth the brethren? guilty.