yoda's aprentice
on some deleted poem
27 Aug 2002, 1:56 AM
the cops are on to me better delete this poem batman!
i like it p&k. very effective.
i aged while reading this. this poem has a keen edge.
A profound truth.
Mysterious and tantalising - the relationship between the driver and the woman is very intriguing. There is a deep subtext to this, I like it a lot.
Dahling, you're still fixated upon my relationships. Why? Does it give you a thrill of some sort? You don't post your poems because as you put it, yours suck. I wouldn't know, but you're likely right. The Canada thing...Cohen is great, Atwood is crap and so is Nowlan (get the names you drop RIGHT, you illiterate boob). joe Blades lives down my street. he's pretentious and a shitty writer to boot. His girlfriend is really ugly (not that that has anything to do with anything). I do take offense to the goth thing, because I am for fucking sure not a goth. P&K: thanks. This kid does have issues with sexuality. I don't think our sex life is necessarily "utterly exposed", just stated that it's there. There are people here who are here to better themselves as writers and all this high school troglodyte is doing is childish name-calling for its own sake.
what a crafty game this is, D. makes me re-think the whole new-relationship business. i suppose we all do it, unless we're latched onto a looooong termer, as are some of my friends, who have chosen to keep their eyes shut, or at least averted, but, why do we expect what we expect in the first place? i catch myself doing it, always. sucks. now, on another note, 'lillies of the cubicle' ha! i like that best. nice one, h.
Curses! The secret is out! Was this inspired by visiting that particular part of Royston Vasey the other night, or did you just spontaneously decide to remember? (P.S. It's "Legz Akimbo"). For your insolence, I give thee a 10. You shall never be King of the Worst Poemes Section.
shwentahtadndjadlower, you should know that Doylum is a) deceitful, b) a perv and c) he's captured Father Christmas, and if you get too close he'll capture you too. Only Jesu knows what horrors would result then...
I object to the use of the term 'boob'. Please spell it 'b00b'.
When I had hair, it was red, and my oh my how I feel your pain. I especially like the 'Heh'. Every poem should have one. Bonza.
okeydoo. Here, by special request: "b00b".
Never let it be said that I'm a total meanie.
It's too fickin' early and this one is perfect.
I find the rhymes a little too facile -the syntactical contortions that you employ to produce the rhymes ('from deep is gleaned') are correspondingly awkward. But maybe it's just because I don't like Dylan Thomas either...
but stellar kicks ass!