make them shorter bastard. And where the fuck are Ramu and Sita and roger red hat. You fucker mother said my reading was getting better. But when you write such long writtings i get angry cause i'm only on no.12

you sir are indeed a piker and a cad. how dare ye put the pakis down or the vikings, i will be back with a truck full of deputized polocks in a minute. stand fast.... oh the poeam ah...it could have been what's the word...ah..."amusing"

regardless of what anyone else thinks this is how it is staying, in its present state, because i like it, enough said.

"In a sea-green Coupe de Ville". "In a dream you are smiling As I stab you in the back." great lines...i want one now...the car...not the blood holed man..thanks??

Thank you all for your comments. I had no idea that this little work would spark so much discussion. I had my doubts about leaving it so "raw", but that's just how the feelings came out. Word of caution to those going through similar things, though...Love and possession are separate issues, but sometimes if you don't go for it, Fate will kick you in the arse until you go the way you need to. I learned that the hard way.

"PAKI", you are misled. I don't believe I have ever said that my "poetry" is supposed to be bad. I have said that two of the poemes that I wrote that are in the worst section were intended to end up in the worst section (the 'AIDS in a <x>' limericks). Surely even you can believe that. I have also said that, when certain people criticise my poetry, they are misguided simply because they assume I am trying to do something I am not (e.g. "create a beautiful image", "say something profound about the nature of human existence"). Most of my most vehement detractors (and most of those who I defend myself against) are teenagers whose cack love poetry I have disparaged. It would be incredibly stupid to do what you claim I do and say "I'm intentionally bad, so by calling me bad you are calling me good". Most of my disparaging comments go on the basis that some poemes are just rubbish, unless the goal is specifically to create that exact style of poeme. My criteria for rubbishness include unaware clichedness, technical incompetence, banal sentiment, etc. These are accurate criteria in most cases. If you care to notice, I rarely seriously disparage the 'serious' poetes' poemes, because since they don't meet any of the 'universal' criteria for rubbishness, and I don't know what it is they're trying to do, my comments would likely be misguided. As for this story, I do not think it is as mediocre as you make it out to be. Perhaps that is because I wrote it. I think you are annoyed that horus8 likes it, because you don't like it and you can't see why he does. I may be wrong. I think he likes it for the same reason I wrote it, which is one of those things that is nearly impossible to succinctly explain. Or maybe he is just being incredibly ironic, and he hates it. Who knows?!?! Good comment though!!

this poem is not only awful, but long and awful. Have any of your friends read this? Ask them their honest opinions because since you don't know me you'll assume I'm just being mean, when I'm nothing but sincere. There's so much gobblety-gook. Ideas are poetic not words. I get tired reading this because your choice of words not only adds nothing but detracts from the whole. You can't communicate using this formula ya'all seem to have confused for poetry. Go to the library and look up some of the best. Their work never ever sounds or looks like this. big fat 0.

this has the reek of a sraight edge smile.....i like it...it's swell. 8/10!.

yeah.. bastards gotta point with that one...well made...., but i am not a racist cuz i hate everyone including myself...i am the man that bought mystique...nah...i care alot....alot for the special and disadvantaged...that's why i woke up this morning with my head in a toilet and poo on my wrist (i drink and toast for all of them one after the other)...and a florida shaped poo stain in my drawers...i also let the kitty out on accident..i hope she doesn't get tired..e

I'll admit, the metre is a bit off, but those are the feelings, and that's how I put them out. It's what so many of us want to say, but are afraid to, because you're not allowed to remind a woman that Nature is neutral, and not on anybody's side but the strong, even if you are a woman who's been through hell.

change "gazing" to grazing, and "shipwreck" to primerib to really become god...lest you fail....and remain molaring a mouth full of clippings...

leos and scorpios get along actually very well and the sex is beyond measure usually on the scorpios part and inclination, but the relation ship can suffer greatly intellectually and in substance (layers) not always though, sometimes depending on retrogrades and environment that previously mentioned can get reversed....but mostly its the either...they're also both known to give each other space quite well and often, then at times explode in character to see one another at all costs regardless of who or what is in the way <sponsored by 'telepathy' the only way to communicate and 'mahdi' a fourteen year old messiah who controlled mecca for 200 days twenty years ago, he had blue eyes and was A HALF ARAB WESTERN BLOOD HYBRID!> i love that previos 20 button by the may kaolin fire rocks!!!!

O.O this means nothing of the sort Bachus, it only means that I read. the earth childrens series is my favorite series of books, that is all i was saying. I will NOT masturbate with a cheesegrater, i like pain, but not to that extent. you are quite rude. i don't think i like you. My 16th bday is just a few days away, so dont call me 13. You will never mount me like a flathead, will never play with my foreskin and i hope you get over your boredom soon.....sincerely, Jade

I think they are all over reacting. Because although you are the Joyce Carol Oates of fragmented poetic parody and this is the foundation of all your criticism (i.e. I am the verbal watchdog and I will cast you down with any debate and you cannot even say my poetry is shit because I write it to be shit therefore all of you arguments will send you spinning in a circular catch-22), it is not the fucking the "greatest story ever told" as your minions seem to think. It is a ditty and continues your legacy of shit. Better?

this is a glossary so fucking layered...unreal..it's the backstory of gilgamesh and a gay harry crumb...i drank upon my prawne all night, and indeede enbrowned my limp wrist and vomited through reddening fingers like a rainbird sprinkler...i fuckin love this and da...i want to rape his prawne and keelhaul myself gay blade drawn...the whole thing is just too fucking good...io have no more worde' to be so stiff' and create a new'''way of crushtations and nuding fuck...i personally i'm speechless and errot flynned right in the chamber of frocked cauliflower poop shooters ahoy...arhh 10/10/10/10!

Shit as a metaphor, not a poem type. Sorry to mislead. the poem or not a poeme but story in this case is quite the amusing ditty.

And here I thought this was a huge uni-tit woman decapitated by the alien controlled errant lawnmower blade, with an anorexic waste from eating the grass while the mower was in the shop and a skirt the would make Freud proud. I guess I was wrong.

So sorrye 'bout your plight auld chap. 'Twas certain Edgar warned ye - Shoehornes are naught for arses.

does this mean dinner's out of the question?

no. i like it...cuz it's about as crafty and imaginative as it can get. i get it, and i thinks it's real fucking "curio".