regarding some deleted poem...	Dan garcia-Black 63.206.232.206	3-Jan-05/8:24 PM
I love the last line's planned ambiguity. I agree. Who the hell needs them? Good poem. Aisle ketch U laider.
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 64.223.179.250	3-Jan-05/8:48 PM
A good story. Is it really that bad? I'm here in the land of Hampshire the New, where we have a thing called snow. How would they in LA like some of that I wonder?
Re: hello eternity by justjay	PsydewaysTears 69.240.74.35	3-Jan-05/9:28 PM
I like your use of the "—". The rest of it's a nice description of a dire emotion but to me it's only a very general emotion since I can't pinpoint which "words" are haunting you exactly or which events you're wishing to "forget" so badly. Though through and through this poem works. The word choice (especially "eternity") pulls it off. •°•Gregory James•°•
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 212.118.11.30	3-Jan-05/11:32 PM
Very richa. Sorry, richa.
regarding some deleted poem...	Lifeboatman 203.104.94.2	4-Jan-05/4:34 AM
very nice.. 10
Re: Ode To Sweet Susie Chee by Bachus	Lifeboatman 203.104.94.2	4-Jan-05/4:37 AM
haha.. 10
Re: Attention: Superman's Coffee Break is From 1:35 to 1:37 by MacFrantic	Lifeboatman 203.104.94.2	4-Jan-05/4:39 AM
both title and poem works.. truly enjoyable (made it sound like a movie).. 10
Re: Poetic Profit by Dovina	Lifeboatman 203.104.94.2	4-Jan-05/4:41 AM
10..
Re: Attention: Superman's Coffee Break is From 1:35 to 1:37 by MacFrantic	zodiac 212.118.14.17	4-Jan-05/4:46 AM
Not that great. -10-
Re: Poetic Profit by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.14.17	4-Jan-05/5:43 AM
I take issue with "like a belch". That's hardly even a simile.
Re: Ode To Sweet Susie Chee by Bachus	Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.62	4-Jan-05/7:45 AM
Ditto!
Re: Cigarettes and Masturbation by Lifeboatman	Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.62	4-Jan-05/7:53 AM
Listen to the Surgeon and take your Zantac 75.
Re: Dying In The Corner by Zalev	Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.62	4-Jan-05/7:57 AM
Clever.
Re: the nature of our stillborn by Crakyamuni	Shuushin 147.154.235.53	4-Jan-05/8:31 AM
Well. Very nice, except I could do without the refrain - and this line: "Don't smile and laugh, it's distance" - comes off as a concession to rhyme. btw, as to the content (versus the form) - the message is that you were almost certainly trying to both love *and* be clever. At least to be clever. I want to give this a nine, but that list bit keeps me from it.
Re: The Snowcone Man by Zalev	Shuushin 147.154.235.53	4-Jan-05/8:37 AM
a well made Acrostic to be sure - barely forced at all, really - okay, the "D" is forced. Maybe "Death took the snowconeman, and my smile." - or "Death took the snowconeman and he took my smile." - something like that? and try "You want buy one?", he'd..." (should at least be in quotes). Either way, nicely done, and an acrostic to boot.
Re: Mystery Stranger by Zalev	Shuushin 147.154.235.53	4-Jan-05/8:42 AM
capitalize "[L]ord", I think. Another unforced acrostic, nice - though I liked the other better (this one has a less flowing feel; more list-like, which is especially bad in an acrostic).
Re: Uncertainty by nentwined	Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.62	4-Jan-05/8:47 AM
Man, you are in dire need of a tea party. Great!
Re: Little Girl Sue by Zalev	Dovina 69.175.6.101	4-Jan-05/9:05 AM
Good up through Verse 7. After that it gets strange. Fix "Was she being abuse,"
Re: The Snowcone Man by Zalev	Dovina 69.175.6.101	4-Jan-05/9:17 AM
It's hard to make everything fit into an acrostic, so a won't complain too much about the relevance of torn sneakers and old clothes to his giving you a snow cone. I agree with Shuushin, it's a good acrostic. Try "Snow cone" in line 5 and "Death is my smile and the snowconeman."
Re: Math Poem 3 by Dovina	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.153.196.50	4-Jan-05/10:01 AM
This poeme is a stain on the face of mathematics, and a stain on the bum of literature (literature has no face, because it is obscured by a giant bum). Again, it is mathematically uninteresting. On reading your defence of its simplicity, it became clear you have no idea about how mathematicians work. You say the protagonist's assertion that "for all x: x/(x/3)=3" has to be simple so as to eliminate any doubt. This is stupid for two reasons: 1. No mathematician doubts a theorem, because it is true by definition. The question is: how do we know if a mathematical assertion, e.g. "for all x: x/(x/3)=3", is a theorem? Answer: We obtain a proof of it (or a counter-example, if it is not a theorem). If we can find a proof of the assertion, how in Sodomy can you doubt it? It may be an incredibly complicated proof that only a genius would understand, but this is not true in most cases. It's also the case that a proof, if written out to a suitable degree of formalism, can be checked by a computer. It is therefore perfectly feasible for your dweeb to have come up with some interesting mathematics that was not open to doubt. 2. You shoot yourself in the bum because while the protagonist's assertion is a simple one, as a mathematician he has every reason at least to question it, since he has not obtained a proof. Note that showing an assertion holds for 1, 6, 7, log 7, and (2^(1/3))^(1/8) is not grounds for generalising to all x!