Re: The Perception's Play by Bhaskaryya	fevriere 62.254.128.4	21-Dec-04/9:06 AM
You realise that first of all, you're using couplets and then alternate rhyming lines? And you've put a lowercase 'i' when you mean 'I'. It's kind of nice, in a pastiche of nineteenth century poetry. Although the piece of rock bit was rather a blooper.
Re: Mallard by richa	Dovina 69.175.6.101	21-Dec-04/10:32 AM
The first sentence is good, except what have you against capitals? Chimera seems too grandiose for a duck's beak. "can try" meaning to try patience or ability, I suppose, seems clumsy. "ear of bread" may be a Briticism. If so, okay.
Re: "oh" by fevriere	Dovina 69.175.6.101	21-Dec-04/10:34 AM
It fits the meter, but what does it mean?
Re: Magnetic Time by Dovina	some deleted user 195.157.153.249	21-Dec-04/11:16 AM
Ace
Re: "oh" by fevriere	some deleted user 195.157.153.249	21-Dec-04/11:19 AM
GREAT
Re: Center Of The Universe by Dovina	Yikes 152.163.100.67	21-Dec-04/11:31 AM
I enjoyed this piece (esspecially the conclusion). 9
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 152.163.100.67	21-Dec-04/11:39 AM
I enjoyed ur other one better
Re: Distastefully Hairy Quendo by w╞╦╩╤╦╩╣ ╠╤╦╧╩╡w	nentwined 64.60.192.130	21-Dec-04/12:53 PM
I think the second It's should be spelled out, for rhythmic purposes. Unless you're shouting it, then it's all clean in the wash.
Re: Magnetic Time by Dovina	blacksoul 204.215.34.123	21-Dec-04/1:03 PM
That is so lovely.-10-
Re: Forgotten Strokes by Beyond_Dreams	Dovina 69.175.6.101	21-Dec-04/1:44 PM
A bit over the top. A blank canvas sits untouched because it's blank; unveiled, but we see it. Tears overflowing from what? Palette decorated nightmarish dreams, and starlit eyes - outside then. Still a haunting vision.
Re: Magnetic Time by Dovina	jroday 204.215.34.123	21-Dec-04/2:02 PM
Dovina I posted the poem he worte for you. this poem is wonderful that you wrote for him. the only thing is that he had a seizure today, and went into a coma. I will e-mail you. Felicia
Re: Internet Inspiration (Dovina) revised by jroday	blacksoul 204.215.34.123	21-Dec-04/2:09 PM
I'll give it another -10- because I know this man very well, and what he's going through. If it was me I don't think i could handle it the way he does, but I give him the utmost respect.
Re: Twin Forks by auscot	Dovina 69.175.6.101	21-Dec-04/3:07 PM
Your best so far. Quite good. no comma after bring. "No longer will I look, without regret," is a bit clunky.
Re: Internet Inspiration (Dovina) revised by jroday	Dovina 69.175.6.101	21-Dec-04/3:08 PM
Thank you for reposting this and for the kind sentiment.
Re: This chaotic mind by Bobjim	nentwined 64.60.192.130	21-Dec-04/3:49 PM
You did an amazing job or horrible rhymes and nailing the (limited) point through the coffin well into the opposite end of the world. It seems like you're mind's pretty organized if it can hammer on that one point 10 rhyming lines. Or is it just that you'd forgotten you'd written the previous two each time?
Re: Horror at the grotto by scitz	Dovina 69.175.6.101	21-Dec-04/4:14 PM
funny, sad
Re: Into My World by sliver	horus8 24.130.62.63	21-Dec-04/4:34 PM
Any fuck that cries on a rose, and then tries to turn it into shit poetry should be SHOT.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 69.175.6.101	21-Dec-04/5:07 PM
Good meter with a quiet feel.
Re: Twin Forks by auscot	Yikes 205.188.116.67	21-Dec-04/6:20 PM
mmm, I enjoyed this! A literary masterpiece; 10, without hesitation.
Re: The Drop by auscot	Yikes 205.188.116.67	21-Dec-04/6:22 PM
Hah, I've never been one to pen a good limerick. Very well done. The meter was a tad off in a couple lines but not enough to render distaste. Bravo! An 8.