| Re: To Leave a Trace by Dovina |
fevriere 62.254.128.6 |
17-Oct-04/10:53 AM |
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I like "honorably unread", I think that's a very strong line.
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| Re: Fast Dreams by cuddlytiger17 |
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.154.19.210 |
18-Oct-04/6:56 AM |
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"Here is found a paradox in that during the latter third of the nineteenth century, in a period characterized by the vilification of the tramp, there is a concomitant process occurring that also eulogized them." from "The American Hobo" by Colin Beesley
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Caducus 172.191.111.252 |
18-Oct-04/7:25 AM |
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I have learned to lay off too much sauce after reading this. Not too much just the right amount of vodka in this shot.
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| Re: the battle for troy by oneglove |
Dovina 24.52.156.155 |
17-Oct-04/9:08 AM |
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I hate the term, true love. It is love or not, but what is true love? Otherwise, I find this fanciful, but alright in a mushy way.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
horus8 24.130.62.63 |
17-Oct-04/9:11 AM |
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Twat (Splayit) by Squasha
I was passing my hallway's mirror when
A solemn twat leapt out and swallowed
me whole. Odd, I thought, for a twat to
leap? Since we all know snail have false feet!
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| Re: Fast Dreams by cuddlytiger17 |
Dovina 24.52.156.155 |
17-Oct-04/9:11 AM |
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I don't see how you race through a dream.
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| Re: Library Window by steven adams |
horus8 24.130.62.63 |
17-Oct-04/9:31 AM |
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You've got to be kidding?
This is an unavigatable floater.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
horus8 24.130.62.63 |
17-Oct-04/9:33 AM |
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| Re: Coin Operated Binoculars by T. Jonathron Remp |
horus8 24.130.62.63 |
17-Oct-04/10:01 AM |
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A 55 word heart decunter.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
horus8 24.130.62.63 |
17-Oct-04/10:01 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
horus8 24.130.62.63 |
17-Oct-04/10:02 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
fevriere 62.254.128.6 |
17-Oct-04/10:56 AM |
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"He spit" > "He spat"?
"craving the.." etc > "craving scarce applause, you drape your true"?
I dunno what the "mediocrity" line's dong - it's a bit out of place.
Otherwise, a very articulately-worded piece on a bit of a cliched theme, I might say (in praise!).
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| Re: One True Instant by Dovina |
Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.214 |
17-Oct-04/10:57 AM |
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OK, so the last line could be "The sure hope of his shoulders inert." Good poem anyway.
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| Re: Youth by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
fevriere 62.254.128.6 |
17-Oct-04/10:58 AM |
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I don't think the repetition works, the speed of light line annoys me. And drop "token" for something else. That line could be the real hook but I feel the whole thing's not quick as catchy as you want it to be. As it could be.
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| Re: Coin Operated Binoculars by T. Jonathron Remp |
fevriere 62.254.128.6 |
17-Oct-04/10:59 AM |
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Coul you not make this a poem just by cutting the lines at readable places? I loved it. The "he/him/her" bit's a little confusing but I like that. I really like it all.
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| Re: To Leave a Trace by Dovina |
Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.214 |
17-Oct-04/11:10 AM |
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God! I hate hopeful poems. Still, this one is OK.
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| Re: Zipmark'd by fevriere |
Dovina 24.52.156.155 |
17-Oct-04/11:42 AM |
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It's cute the way you split the lines and ran some of the words together, but frankly, I think it detracts.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 24.52.156.155 |
17-Oct-04/2:38 PM |
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I was about to complain that the line breaks are odd when for some reason it seemed to read well anyway. Comma after night.
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| Re: Stranger by TLRufener |
wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.253 |
18-Oct-04/5:37 AM |
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| Re: On Going Blind by Fear of Garbage |
horus8 24.130.62.63 |
18-Oct-04/12:03 PM |
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Amazingly amazing like orange tang.
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