This is hilariously funny! Well wrote, Col, yorra jeany-uss.

Hohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho. I have not laughed so much since my mum caught her tits in the mangle.

Wittier than a pearl necklace.

Hmm. Eight. Even though I thoroughly enjoy Bukowskis work.

Fucking amusing. I crapped me duds twice.

Nothing like a spot of buggery on the sands, but be careful not to get the crabs.

Bugger me. That's a good 'n.

Honestly, you're not even funny.

innit though ?!

i love the last two lines. the first is okay but... thumping what? this might benefit from the "show, don't tell" paradigm.

I'm guessing this is a WWII poem, but that's just a guess. This feels like an incomplete story. As such, it's okay to force your readers to infer some things, but I would like some more sensory detail to give a better clue as to the identities of the participants.

I want some liner notes to this. T.S. Eliot? Beuller?

I have to agree with nypoet - the first line is a little awkward, the last two need the leadup to be as visually stunning as they are.

go to the music shop and find some Cake, take it home, listen to it...sigh...

Nice flow and rhythm Amanda. You paint a perfect picture as the first line suggests. Very nice work.

If only these douchebags could hear you sing, Mel.

It's hard to judge lyrics without music, but you do have some fine lines here.

Wow! This is really left open to interpretation. My guess is the calomine ghost suffers from alzheimer's.

what is this about i'm totally senrued out shouts....and grabs his throat! aaaaarrgghhh ...... 7points

Why should you give a fuck about Hank? Or, for that matter, Ginsberg, Frost, Sandberg and Homer? They own the past. You should own the future.