Re: An Ice Revelation by Nateislate	fevriere 62.254.128.4	3-Feb-05/9:43 AM
.. Hopefully this poem is more than just a (successful) experiment with line indentation.
Re: Broken by singinkygal	fevriere 62.254.128.4	3-Feb-05/9:31 AM
Oddly I like this, to begin with, but if there are no words to speak, how can you even squeeze a rhyme out of a poem? Have you considered cutting it off after "or what is right"? The "heart's heavy song" coul be the title - 'tis a redeemable line but the best poetry is the best words (e.g. for a poem on this theme, few?) in the right order (to give a sense of dullness, emptiness.
Re: Ducks With AIDs (a feeble attempt of something different) by Blindpoetry	wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.249	3-Feb-05/9:14 AM
A joke from this week's POPBITCH(http://www.popbitch.com): A man walks into a brothel and says "I've only got a fiver - is there anything you can do for me?" The Madam says "yes", and gives him a duck. The man hands over the cash, and disappears upstairs with the duck. A couple of weeks later he comes back. "I've got a tenner this time." he says, "What'll that get me?" The madam hands the man another duck. "Hold on!" says the man, "How come this duck is a tenner when the other one was only a fiver? "They're both bloody ducks." "Ah yes, that's right", says the Madam, "But this one doesn't have AIDS."
Re: iron coil by Shit-Crumpets	little_big_nose 163.153.198.103	3-Feb-05/5:57 AM
I don't think you meant for this to be a great poem, but I'm under the impression it means something speical to you
Re: Ceylon Cries by Mona Lisa	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.153.196.50	3-Feb-05/4:42 AM
Surely Allah's tears do not need cleansing? Unless you think they become sullied when a load of Sri Lankan's live on top of them. By God you're probably right :(
Re: Ceylon Cries by Mona Lisa	Mona Lisa 172.212.126.101	3-Feb-05/4:32 AM
For those who dont know Sri Lanka is known as the teardrop of Allah for its shape looks like a tear.
Re: a comment on Satan's Pillar: The Wisdom of Heresy. by SupremeDreamer	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.153.196.50	3-Feb-05/3:43 AM
I have never seriously denied being a Christian. But you tend to take everything -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. says incredibly seriously. If you must know I'm of Irish Catholic descent, and have been going to mass pretty much all my life. Perhaps the only difference between myself and other Catholics is that I don't go to confession as often. I put this down to the fact that while I come from a wealthy family, many members of the congregation where I live are quite poor, and while Catholicism held their families together, I suspect alcohol and poor education made temptation all the more, well, tempting. Forgive them Lord, they know not what they do etc. I don't hold it against them, and I don't think I'm any better for leading what some might consider a more righteous lifestyle. Compared to God, we're all "unbelievably appalling".
Re: a comment on Depth of Illusion by Beyond_Dreams	zodiac 212.118.11.12	2-Feb-05/10:19 PM
Look, here's the typical reaction to this poem now: "This is just like Byron's, only not as good." Of course you don't HAVE to change anything. But you do have to change it if you don't want people to think "This is just like Byron's, only not as good."
Re: a comment on A Thing I Must Do by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.11.12	2-Feb-05/10:16 PM
I'm not sure exactly what you think the subject is, but this conversation was STARTED days ago by the phrases "on average" and "spatial awareness." Ergo, the subject. I suspect you know you don't have a leg to stand on to argue either of these, and that's why you're trying to get away from them. That, or you're higher than I've imagined possible. Please, please, stop responding to everybody's comments with things like "Many men are good at matching a dress to earrings. Many women can beat a man to death with his own shoes". We're talking about AVERAGES. PS-This not only reflects poorly on yourself. It reflects poorly on your kind. PPS-You're bound to be getting an idea of where you're wrong on averages by now. If so, you're bound to say zodiac contradicted himself right there. If we're distinguishing individual women from the average, how can I reflect poorly. Here's how: (Sum of all women's reasoning faculties minus Dovina's)/(Women in the world minus Dovina) > (Sum of all women's reasoning faculties including Dovina's)/(Women in the world)
Re: A Thing I Must Do by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.11.12	2-Feb-05/10:03 PM
God, I can't risk having nentwined misplace my reply again. Who knows where it would end up this time - on Brittanyy's last post, probably. Dovina, most feminists believe the sexes are different. Unequal, too, if you mean predisposed to different aptitudes and weaknesses which probably come out even if you can tally them all somehow and give things like petitpoint and soapopera-watching the same value as waging and winning wars and inventing aircrafts. You probably do; and I, with some qualifications, agree. That's not the point. The point is this poem is about a woman performing nude in a male arena for a lone watching man and thinking that's liberation. It's not. It's strippers' logic. If you were really empowered, you'd keep your clothes on.
Re: a comment on Psalm of Wonder by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.11.12	2-Feb-05/9:43 PM
What other reason would there be for a God? To manage my insect life for me? To make sure I don't suddenly fall off the ground and hurtle at incredible velocity into the big solid underside of some cloud? Part of the definition of God is 'Big person who lives in heaven and judges who to put in heaven and who to condemn to wool trousers and too-tight stocking caps forever'. The number of people who've altogether EVER lived on earth who believed in God but didn't believe in some afterlife or other is, like, zero. Where we all run around contradicting ourselves all over the place is thinking there is some great afterlife, we're all going to be saved, whoever's not saved deserves it, and it sucks when God whemies some poor bastard, sinner or not, out the other side. If you believe in any God, that's simply garbage. PS-Considering that I don't really believe in God, I probably am a very silly person.
Re: a comment on Save our Self(revised to be a trek into the vent tent) by Crakyamuni	wilco 24.165.207.93	2-Feb-05/7:32 PM
You've got some good lines here, and I think if you work on it some more, you might be able to get more cohesion. The stream of thought thing works, but oftentimes you still have to revise it so that it makes sense to the reader on some level. I can pick out things here that I understand, but then it goes to something else. I rarely edit my writing based on what people want and I rarely reveal what they are about. My feeling on it is that you need to derive your own meaning from it. At least in abstract cases. Some poems are good because you get it and some are good because everything works, even though you might not understand it. Worth working on.
Re: a comment on Obituary for the Moon by wilco	wilco 24.165.207.93	2-Feb-05/7:02 PM
Nope, Kenny Loggins.
Re: Save our Self(revised to be a trek into the vent tent) by Crakyamuni	horus8 24.130.62.63	2-Feb-05/6:59 PM
This would be great if the title Was 'There Is Life On Uranus" AKA 'The Humped Meat Loaf's, MMM-GOOOOOD"
Re: No more goodbye by ShaNoN+960317485	horus8 24.130.62.63	2-Feb-05/6:57 PM
I will "miss you smile" too, dunce.
Re: Life by AmberDawn	horus8 24.130.62.63	2-Feb-05/6:56 PM
You must be a FEELUCIFER.
Re: A Thing I Must Do by Dovina	horus8 24.130.62.63	2-Feb-05/6:55 PM
What? What is this? Date rape at second base? Jesus Christ...
Re: Obituary for the Moon by wilco	horus8 24.130.62.63	2-Feb-05/6:53 PM
Are you Hewey Lewis?
Re: Dancing on Glass by thepinkbunnyofdoom	horus8 24.130.62.63	2-Feb-05/6:52 PM
eh...
Re: Dying Abroad by zodiac	horus8 24.130.62.63	2-Feb-05/6:51 PM
A tender loin.