Blue Magpie
on New Year by emilyowey
8 Sep 2004, 5:57 AM
Perhaps a touch self-pitying and a little open to personal interpretation, vagueness and subtlety are not the same thing.
Perhaps a touch self-pitying and a little open to personal interpretation, vagueness and subtlety are not the same thing.
The line "Once more I sleep none" is so ungrammatic it pretty much ruins the rest of the poem, some punctuation would also help.
I'm confused about how you intended for the phrase "of delicate was" to be grammatical and relevant, instead of just being a cutesy Ben Harper-ish affectation. Would you mind explaining it to me? Thanks,
The Islam Society for Grammar Detention
Would you agree that the song "Driftwood" by Travis is the most insidious and unnecessarily popular song ever?
Do you intend to provide these extratextual explanations with all copies of your poem, or will you just assume that anyone who doesn't get it is hopelessly dim and unworthy?
Thanks.
nice flow and good rhymes and good story
nice story
I especially like the last verse.. Good work here..
If you think that beginning each of your tawdry blasphemous stanzas with the ACE line "beneath the undertow" makes this poem anymore tolerable, you're right! Asshat. Let's do it for the planet guys!!! What the fuck?!
'taint bad, but 'taint begging for a publishing neither.
I once buggered an otter named Luke.
A pickle in a skirt.
As ethnic as a turban at a cab stand.
a little less pretension could help this.
odd. I think better than a lot of your stuff simply through obfuscation and length.