what is the point of all this? And why arnt i on there?

best poem i ever read, and every line rhymes with every other line. brilliant.

You asked me to give you my take on this poem, so here it is: The poem is mushy, dull, and whiny. It's another poem where the writer is "reaching out" for acceptance, understanding, and help- Such poems irritate me, and is the sort of thing that wiser poets avoid writing. Again you've labeled your poem as a lyric, and its not. If you disagree, then explain to me how, in any way, it can be a lyric and actually be sung along with music. Theres slight hic-ups in your use of the english language also, such as: 'Does the world have [the] time and patiences too see?' --Patiences? Whats the s for? Theres no plural form for the word patience, its singular. Also, its good to use articles in english (the, a, & an) so use them. In there line of work their the boss. I'm only paying the cost. When they decide to fire I suffer the lost. --They who? Seizures? Are they some wierd race that torture those that suffer from epilepsy? Do you work for them and recieve pay and suffer the loss of a paycheck if they fire you? Thats quite odd.. doesn't make much sense really, wouldn't you agree? So with that said, you'll understand my blessing of zero.

Q: What do you call an epileptic holding a glass of milk? A: A milkshake. Q: What do you call an epileptic in your bathtub? A: A jacuzzi. Q: What do you call an epileptic in your garden? A: A seizure salad. Q: What's the ultimate doom for a leper? A: An epileptic fit. Q: What does an elephant use as a vibrator? A: An epileptic Q: What do you throw to an epileptic who is having a fit in the bath? A: Your laundry.

A couple things with this poem bother me: 1: It's not really a lyric. 2: It has a rhyme scheme thats built with words that have similiar endings. You didn't pay attention to how the words actually sound like- for instance the first line ends with "alone", the second line ends with gone. Say those two words out loud, you'll notice that they sound nothing alike, therefore they don't rhyme. 3: It's extremely cliche, and unimaginative. I know this is a really "personal" piece, but that doesn't change the fact that its not well written, crippled, by your poor use of basic poetic mechanics. 4: The ending is absolutely HORRIBLE- sounds like the shit priests say to comfort a person at confession. In short, you didn't put any real effort into writing this in a creative, original fashion, or you simply lack the skill needed to craft a poem of decent quality. It's obvious that you have no experience with writing. My advice is that you read some real poetry and experience some real literary style. Come up with your own style and develop it- learn about basic technique and the proper use of poetic devices. In time you'll build up skill and start writing poetry thats worth reading. Blessed with zero.

This poem is the ugly face of attention deficiency.

This is your best work yet, in my opinion- it touches my soul, and I can relate to it. I'll be stickin this one in my favs. Blessed with ten.

Wrong. -10-

Do you mean for the title to be "Wanting TOO Much"? Some spelling errors, sorry to be nit picky. I think you can cut some stuff out, a bit repetitive, a standard poem on lost love, what makes this special or stand out? I think you could make this really good, you have plenty to work with. Nice start. Bob, can you read my poems when you are in the mood to give all 10's?!! :) Thanks!

Well that attitue will get you no where! But I do sympathize. A bit whinny, but I am not one to judge! Not bad.

Some parts of this were cliche, but its so true, isn't it funny how life works like that, and I know I could have written the same thing, so I can't fault you for that! Regardless, I love this, good job.

I love this-you have read my mind. Good job.

dude, you should post a lot of this stuff into the blind forum!

Well, for starters, I would work on your spelling (although I think many of the ones here are simply typos).