SupremeDreamer
on Nowhere but now by phbiscuit
12 Feb 2004, 3:14 AM
I like the poem.. but not the linebreaks.. Might I suggest linebreaking it this way?:
____
Nowhere but now
here with these last few hours
and this setting sun
by the drinking trees
soaking the breath and
the minutes like water
for life falling and failing
these summer-soft moments
throwing us back to the grass-bed
holding on where we know we will
never be again
with dew drops growing beside
and beneath the forms we have sunk
into the bent-sole grass for these last few
failing hours.
----
Blessed with eight.
-as our tunnel ends with train-
with train? "with a train"? I'm confused. ;/
But other than that, sound cool- when are you going to make the mp3?
Blessed with ten.
A title's the least of your worries, I'm afraid.
i love u
dude that almost made me cry
I wish I was there
not many people use the word anew..whatever works. This was ok until i got to "boo" then I just thought of You Got Served. hahaha. Team Boo.
So I've heard. It's not that good though.
really? *before* the Animals? - I dinna know that!
And don't forget Nina Simone. She recorded it before The Animals.
yes - I predict this will be a big hit, so big in fact, that it will be copied with slight modifications by the Doors, the Animals, and Bob Dylan.
You brought me there.
I was right there with him. Perhaps I became him even.
In the beginning I could smell corn and bread.
Then you ripped me from the vision. Telling me that I couldnât smell.
Confused and disappointed I read on hoping there would be a way to get back the magic.
That somehow it would all make sense.
And then there was this,
âI havenât eaten it what appears to be over six daysâ
This poem could be grand. If onlyâ¦
ALL good poetry tells stories. And a good thing too. If Homer had written something like "The World Today" or "I Don't Fit In" instead of two decent stories called The Iliad and The Odyssey, you probably wouldn't have a couple thousand years of culture to be shitting on with your near-complete ignorance, you little ducktard. 0.
You are one of the thickest people on poemeranker. Where in SODOMY do you get the idea that a poeme should not tell a story? I'll tell you where you get the idea - you figure: 'poeme' and 'story' are two different words, so nothing can be both a 'poeme' and a 'story'. Yeah nice one!!!!1111 Thanks, -10-
Thank you for your comment, I can say that was better!!! But about your poetry: I can also write stories you know. You maybe think that it´s poetry, but I don´t. A little less story telling only. You can try to write a book, can´t you?
Informa\tive, Imaginative and ultimately fuffilling a splendid return to form from -+Fat_Penis=-.
You're fabricating autobiographical details again.
http://www.in-sourced.com/article/articl
Yum.
is that a good or bad hmm?
Surreal nice.