some deleted user
on Suggestions by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w
9 Feb 2004, 12:25 PM
11. Acceptance into the raunchnpaunch kingdome that is Jeremi P Handrinos.
A stupendous challenge to idiots everywhere.
No.
Not a great poem, but warm is an adjective.
Took me a couple reads to appreciate it, but I like it.
My main hesitation was the many prepositional phrases - having said that, I really want the first line to be:
"After this season of ice is over" - see, another prep phrase, but it seems to flow better, imho.
My ear keeps wanting "warm" to be an adverb, rather than a noun - but somehow it works (as is often the case).
And I'd prefer some specific types of tree and wine and weed.
But, after a few reads, the idea of it convinces me - its a good perspective. Good enough to build a snowman out of -8-
Do you mean "the rest is quite good, zippy", should be in quotation marks because it is a line I have plagiarised from george or bungal?
The construction "The idea that yes there is meaning to life" is one which you cannot adequately defend. "That" in this case must be followed by a proposition, but you've followed it by a sentence. Which, I might add, should be quoted. Consider yourself gay.
The end is trite. The idea that yes there is a meaning to life is one which you can not adequately defend.
The rest of it is quite good, zippy.
wherefore art thou guilded age of long ago?
irishfolksuicide
replying on After the ice season ~ shamelessly lewd revision by zodiac
9 Feb 2004, 10:24 AM
The first two lines of this are made up of a premise, and a question predicated on given premise ---> pause
It is not unreasonable for the reader to make the same pause at the end of the second two lines.
Also as the brain organises stimuli together, things that rhyme will also tend towards forming their own discrete block.
The combination of expecting a couplet, line break and rhyme really do I think signal to the reader, end.
I can read it better if sunk starts the fifth line.
I guess it all depends on how you define impressive and what scope you allow. If I interpret you correctly "impressive" in the context of this poem means poorly structured dull form that does not even stick to your own definition of the poem. If impressive also means making up gay names for aforementioned structure which is not adhered to then ythis clearly the most impressive jumble of asorted shite ever to have been laid down. However if impressive is to mean your rather girly way of responding and using * and >:@{ then you are sadly mistaken.
ouch! you really hurt my feelings :(
all i wanted was to come here and share my inner-most thoughts
with all of you
and what do i get? nothing but pain and rejection!
you're mean
i don't like you anymore
don't you see my comments were just a way to profess my love to you???
why? why do you deny me?
the world is cold and bleak...
i think i need to eat
more steak
before i break
down in tears
fa' rears!
OMG!!!1
i'm going INZANE!!!!!!!!1!!
no, not really
but sadly more impressive than anything you'll ever do
*smooches*
i <3 my cute little troll
yeah, yeah, whatever
go troll someone else you no-talent ass clown
Incidentally, may I remind you of this:
http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j
PLEASE DO NOT QUESTION MY INTEGRITY IN THIS CRUDE MANNER
-10-
Sing of your own assmane.
You suck whole lung fulls of cum out of wizened old men's bums.
Not only is this poem unutterable tosh the conversation between SupremeDreamer and Rockmage is the worst in this sites history
Stephen Robins
on Necromancers Song (Incubus Guitar & Buddhist Drums) by SupremeDreamer
9 Feb 2004, 7:43 AM
Do you fuck as well as you write? If so Stephen Hawking is looking for a new bitch.