Stephen Robins
on Serendipity (title suggestions wanted) by SupremeDreamer
9 Feb 2004, 7:42 AM
You are an unbelivable shitard.
This is the most impressive thing you have ever done.
Seeing as many of you don't know what jodphurs are, allow me to explain. Typically ron by the landed gentry of the British Empire, these garments are tight so as to support the leg whilst riding. They are also textured like courdorauys so as to give friction and furthur maintain the support and therefore balance of the horserider. Some more extravagant types have rounded sections at the side of the thigh that stick out. No-one knows why this is, as it doesn't help with the riding seat at all, it is one of those mysteries, like Loch Ness Monster and poor people. Anyway, I must be off to my riding. I'm fully prepared to be tossed off by a frisky young Arab!!!
Slaggamuffin.
-10-
Billy Bunturd.
-10-
And here's to you, Mrs Robinson.
Jesus loves you more than you could know.
Whoa-oh-oh!!1
-10-
You're a useless pile of stinking old-lady shit.
-10-
This is almost as good as the poetry of Crystal Lane Shit!!!!111
-10-
If you remove the pointless gaps and the arbitrary line breaks, you end up with the following sentence: "I wish I was part of the in crowd." And that's not a poem; it's just a moronic sentiment. Well done! -10-
"Watch your mouth, you slag," I said, and caught her with a right-hook. She fell to the ground in an instant. I kicked her in the kidneys.
-10-
wFraser Allonby Q.C.w
on Serendipity (title suggestions wanted) by SupremeDreamer
9 Feb 2004, 6:21 AM
TITLE SUGGESTIONS
1. SupremeDreamer is Astonishingly Dim-Witted
2. SupremeDreamer is Amazingly Thick
3. SupremeDreamer is a Mega-Dunce
Blessed with 10, you shit stain!!!!!!!11
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
on Serendipity (title suggestions wanted) by SupremeDreamer
9 Feb 2004, 6:05 AM
For fuck's sake, when are you going to stop torturing us with your bizarre attempts at 'wisdom'?
Oxymoronic Quote Of The Day: "Victory is found not in triumph" -- SupremeDreamer
Absurdly lewd. -no vote-
Never before has the arbitrary indentation been wielded with such senseless aplomb. -10-
I suppose it means the K on kling, but it's exactly fine. Reminds me of poor out-of-town supermarkets.
Structurally, yes.
thanks, don't know much about structured writing I just write what I feel,but I did what u said, best I could....better?
re: "For me the sunk rhyme stops the piece before the new line." The correct way to read a poem is not to consider the end of a line as a period or break. Imagine reading this as prose: "Sit out all night on an old Pontiac sunk in weeds up to its windows, in a field where winds blow warm over us." It makes perfect sense now, doesn't it? Ask yourself if this would work better:
"Until my body with yours you cover,
The trunk of a tree which over us bends,
Creaking in the wind..."
Basically, you'll find that ending lines at the ends of clauses or phrases drastically limits the amount of things you can say or the amount of style or natural diction you can use. Walt Whitman pulled it off with his amazing run-on lines, but almost everyone since has considered the concept of 'enjambment' a necessary poetic tool. Will you please give this one another shot with that in mind?
as ever