Mon dieu! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "sleepy, safe and warm" could be different.

minus 8 for not being a haiku. Minus another 1 for not being very poetic or making any sense.

you delightful little gothic child you.

I could tell you were a woman. Dickens could tell George Eliot was immediately, too, or so the anecdote goes. Are the leaves from O.Henry?

"You are taking up my Oxygen, Nitrogen, Argon, you are taking up my arrogance." is great. The rest is (for you) mediocre.

Was the spelling of field really intentional? I agree with god'swife, the last line -- content of which is superb, no complaints there -- should be tidied up. If not by deleting the extra then, at least break it differently.

most excellent i think "missiles" does not fit but that's the only thing i can find fault with "An Audrey Hepburn with a Viking gene" is SUCH an inspired line, i love it

not quite a sonnet - must be 14 lines also, needs iambic pentameter the repetition is forced and elementary however, you do make a nice turn at the end

need to work on your iambic pentameter a bit also, it doesn't really speak to me, but i think that's just because i don't care much for this particular mythology

wow, just wow i feel like a humble ass clown in comparison my one teeny tiny note would be that i enjoyed the breaks that spanned the stanzas and wished that all the stanzas did that going back and forth was only slightly jarring i think in general though, your breaks are great and really adds to the feel

Ahh, Winturd. The white season; nestled moistly 'tween the green and the browne... Speaking of browne, I daresay your butterfly is not the only frozen tear in heaven. Have you not heard "The Winturd Tale of Sir Donald Nudesby"? It runs thus, in the Common Tongue... Footprints linger on the lawn Where Nudesby trod ere crack of dawn Then out beyond the seemly parts and in amongst the compost carts. There to clench in wooden shack Ere sweating brow gave way to cack And buttocks wiped with little care Leave brownly marks upon his chair. But footprints leave, and don't return And Nudesby's fate may cause concern Young children ought to shield their ears Whilst women fight to hold back tears: Through winturd night, and morning frost It seems that Nudesby has been lost 'tis little wonder that he froze - Sir Donald Nudesby wore no clothes!

First stanza - L4: personally I would change this to : And popsicle-peeled. L6&7: pink champagne AND fizzy pop seems like too much unless you add a but: They give her pink champagne But she asked for fizzy pop Second stanza is great Third stanza - L5: misspelling - fetal L6: "Father Figure" is WAY too obvious L7: this entire last line is also WAY too obvious and a bit of a let down for the culmination of this piece many people write poems about junkies and heroin this is a fairly decent portrayal of the starlett seduced by drugs i would just fix the few things i mentioned less is more, it really is

uh...i like this one. Its kinda like a personal narative but, you know, like way better. BTW: where did your piss test go??? :)