zodiac
on Yea u guys by That One
26 Jan 2004, 7:15 AM
Once again, Jesus was a Greek nickname for a Hebrew.
"Stagnant pools of seamen"? You know I was otherwise bound to like this. One thing, though: the end of a stanza never-ever is the same as a period. You have to go back and put some in.
No no no. Wasn't this copied off the back of a Shania Twain album?
How well do you know Chris Buckley?
superb! give u an A++ :)
sweet n spontanious
Sometimes the darker angel presents to the nostrils an apple of the Tree of Life.
other times........
not so much.
I LOVE it, I'm only giving you a 9 cuz I wish I wrote it
mmmm, and I just realized it makes no sense for him to be getting 5 tiles. I should change it to "my tiles".
It would be even better with a bunch of seven-letter words starting with Qu or X. No, I can't think of any myself right now.
I retract. I must have been in a bad mood. I agree with Goad though. Try making all those crazy long lines say something.
Is that bad? *meek girlish glances hitherto*
"I was unable to control myself. As I passed him on the gangplank, I shook my fist in his face. 'You pathetic duffer! There isn't a crew! Why don't you just admit that you're a lonely failure? Why continue with this demeaning charade?'
At my outburst, his tears changed colour and flowed the more. He flung his arms over his eyes and rushed below deck, beard dripping with the dew of misery."
'Rawhead & Bloody Bones', by Rhys H. Hughes
How did this turn into such crap after pretty good opening lines? It's like you lost faith. Go back down Gumdrop Pass to about halfway through the first stanza and start again.
Um... haha.
Huh. Well...ill give it a five. Good, could be better, but good.
LIked it. You must like water. I prefer pop or beer or chocolate milk or somethin. BTW, rockmage, do give everything a 10? Just wondering. Good job. ill say...7.