Thanks, I've overdosed on the Bard last night and hath doth just possessed me. I can't frickin wait for PAKI's comment, ahhh don't you just love the calm before the storm?

more like :O ;)

You're right about hath doth it was the one line i had problems with. I have stayed true to the story inventing me as the love interest to complete the sonnet and juice something out of the fable. Also line 1 was a tad over adventurous, she was born from an oyster(one of many theories) but I have simplified the opening. My 1st sonnet and there bloody hard.

there aren't enough rants in the world. or rather, there are too many, but not enough about the things that matter.

Maybe I should go down on YOU! Muahahahahahah!

technically it is. virtually it is. actually it is. and if you thought for a second about it, you'd agree it's powerful. knowing you're in the service, eliastemplar, this poem evokes service on a submarine. i know how long those guys/women are gone for, and the blackness between news. nice job, sir.

not everyone can paint, but every one can see, girlie. take ourself down a peg, wouldja?

13666--yeah there's a lot of crap here. just like everywhere. and there's good stuff too. as for yours being good? i'd call it self-servingly nascent.

Am I the only one not surprised at how familiar R.M. Rilke is with choking it down?? See, you all made fun of me when I said he was homotic, but the proof is in the pudding.