Caducus
on A Manifesto on Murder by Jeremi B. Handrinos
22 Aug 2003, 8:24 AM
And isn't it amazing what 2000 quid will get you - a shot point blank in the face in Coventry where i be.
Dreamster,
This work captures the essence of a cold and calculating killer. Your use of surgeon as killer brings this point home quite well and I did get a feel for the terror of it all. However, I have seen you bring words together in a more fluid and tastey fashion. Not your best but still good. P.S. I gave serious thought to your last message to me regarding the need to open up and just let it out. You were right. On the way to work this morning while in the midst of a traffic jam (i'm in New York City) I came up with something that I posted earlier this morning. Take a look see and let me know what you think. Joe.
The fat belly suits this beauty 9
The best I've read of yours and love line 4 -9
I see you liked this one Horus. What did you like about it?
What I don't understand is how you can even try and criticize my writing because of how it is written and not for its content, you know it is good. I mean look at the crap that gets posted here. I know what well structured poems look like but why try and follow a standard perspective of expression when the whole point of expression is individuality?
Nice wording but it is like telling a story, nothing really poetic about it maybe that was your intention.
I have seen better from you so since I know what you are capable of I'll give a 4.
I'd like to inform my readers that I am a female. Please don't judge if your own stuff is basically crap. I want a talented writer to review my stuff then I'll take comments into consideration.
Caducus
on Pooty Pops, a delicious way to start your day! by Jeremi B. Handrinos
22 Aug 2003, 3:09 AM
Yeah thats what i call an american breakfast
A lovely white head.
That was rushed and unprofessional, I know because, I've had dinner twice. with the actor that plays Doctor Giggles. Killing's only fun if one takes their time.
According to the most unrecent popular mechanics I could pull out from underneath my drunk great uncle at JPL people that work for the federal government or state government and make between 36,000 and 52,000 dollars a year, and think that they have achieved their corn fed goals? Apparently make quite pleasant lap dogs.
Wow you're clever, but what does this poem have to do with me or my sister? Do you know my sister? Or me? Or was that some how your way of being bad mannered?
When some mother birds sense danger to their chicks they'll pretend they broke their wing and flap around to distract the predator.
Love the "sidewalk go dalmation." I like this poem, good imagery (not too pushy). Nice, 7
"Slices Lesions" is kinda weak...I think a lesion is a surface abrasion, not a cut, so to speak. Not positive onthat, though.
Because of this comment, I wrote a new poem...
A little too much Pink Floyd.....
What do you mean by this curious phrase "salad tossing"? This poem does not serve well its ambiguity. Or its amby goo ity.
or "every sill, every god-damn piece of lint in the universe".