Mr Pig
on Untitled #13 by david
5 Jul 2003, 8:38 AM
Thought provoking and may I say well done my boy.
Thanks for the critique. I've revised this piece several times since this draft, but since it's in the top twenty, I don't want to wipe out all the votes.
~William Zanzibar Bubbington, Jr.
Insightful and communicative
the tone of the poem seemed so benign as well. I didn't get it until the end
clever
george bush ... when i think politics i wish to die, my last wish to be the death of government. The bible bored me.. incest and hallucenated gods and angels become old news quick. but thanks for the comment and vote nevertheless.
hrmm. interesting. blessed with 7
You wouldn't say that about George Bush - you pinko Americans and in the immortal words of Alf Bexton "ruin the planet, ruin it now before someone else does". PS Read the Bible, cause however you look at it whatever you do, Jesus loves a sinner, the world loves a winner and Jesus saves all.
Oh. well.. hrmm. Oki doki, out it goes. ;)
Yes, could have done with a rocket.
... yes, i know you wouldnt want to admit that this is far beyond your ability to write, it doesnt mean you should be childish and try to keep my work from receiving the score it deserves, which is far from 0.
Ha ha, that's what i was going for.
Thanks man, i did
**THIS POEM TEMPORARILY OUT OF SERVICE**... damnit... damn tease.
lol. 10.
SupremeDreamer
on Fireworks & Family Reunions (Randel's cry for love) by Shardik
5 Jul 2003, 12:12 AM
lmao. ;) hey, hows the rgallet shitstorm going, a day passes and hes already a wanker. wonderfull poem, blessed with nine.
well judging by the comments and such, people just do happen to read my poems, including you. ;) And no, I'm not going anywhere, or deleting my work. The unlimited potential you have is spent writing arrogant and uninspired shit, so I can't say I'm impressed. ;) Your vast intelligence is lacking sophistication or any brilliant sparks of genius, so its indeed ... worthless.
oh, nice scoreboard, I have my own:
SupremeDreamer:100
RGallet: -100 hey, negative scale ;D
And please grab your toes and prepare for the 747 cock jet flying directly into your virgin arse. ;) oh, yeah, NICE WANKER MARK. hahahaha. ;) seems like your liked alot INDEED!
He did not leave it there in the first place and the carelessness is on us. Why don't you try reading the Scriptures in the first place. Man, I hope that abundant grace will just surround you and you might be saved. I will keep you in my prayers.
You are a very sad person.-0
Not tonight, nentwined. I have a headache.
The diction is mellifluous. I am particularly struck by the enjambment and how it seems to contribute to the overall feeling of how well-crafted the piece is.
The only thing I take issue with is the question posed in the ninth stanza. While the diction and intent match, it seems awkward enough there to interrupt the flow of the piece.