Nah, i wouldn't. But he simply gave me advice, which in turn resulted in a new title which i actually like alot better than my former picks.. so hey, worked out well. ;) maybe your pissed that i didnt let you advise me of anything.. hrmm?

If horus8 told you to jump off a cliff would you do it?

I stick out out my tongue at you ;P

Fixed up its presentation, and some other passages, stuck in the periods, etc. Currently in the process of chopping this sucker up into three parts, may be awhile untill im able to post them.. or ofcourse, i could sign up another name.. -shrug-

lol

Yes, it is.

Title better now?

Ok, i spell checked it, changed some things, ill look over it to fix those "..." its a bad habit of mine when i write. I'm usually in a trance when im writing so i dont catch on to it quickly. Ill think of making it a series.. sounds like a good idea.. and ill try to find a better title lol.. i never was good with titles.

Use periods. Not.. Because..(there's no such thing) It's... Three not two And use it only in case of an Emergency, not to trail off. Makes you look like you're loaded... And... Day dreaming... constantly.

I know this will sound mean, but your title still sucks, as a poet your title needs to be even better than the poem. It has to be a lure, a reminder, Symbolic and maintain a seperateness. Like for instance Gordian knot, one would think what? But it's perfect. In other words don't make it an idea make it something. the GK was an untiable knot, get it? So Hellish memorys encompass that much much more like this, "Maman" see that's the hellish memorys it's weird it's different people will come just to see what it means.

Then turn it into a three poem series like my prostitue series, doing what a good screenplay does set up, climax, conclusion. Make sure that happens in each poem and in the series, do you understand?

I can't believe you still gave it a six?

I understand why it should be compacted.. but could anyone give some suggestions as to what i should cut out.. staring at it i find it hard to choose.. it all has much meaning to me ;/

Ok, I'll look over it, thanks for pointing it out.

Don't you mean, "than" instead of "then"? I'm sorry you're stupid and insane. That must make fixing yourself meals and wiping your ass very difficult. You have my deepest condolences. And a friend and extra shotgun ammo with me anytime. I'm sorry you did not enjoy my poem:( It was written for my uncle that died two weeks ago of AIDS. He raised me after my parents died when I was 5 in an airplane crash. I will work on improving it just for you. See, it's a true story, he had this tremendous fear of geckos, and used to think that they were out to get him. Perhaps a gay gecko gave him AIDS one night while he was sleeping? What do you think?

Good point, that and the last Question mark has to be a period. I feel very strongly about this damnit.