-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
replying on The band "Sigh" aced their MENSA tests by Jeremi B. Handrinos
12 May 2003, 1:12 AM
Shit, you truly are master of the powerful comeback. "Maybe your face, but not mine"? Why didn't you just say "No, you" or "Go away!"
whateva ho
WOOOOOOO!!! Go you, so good, i love it, very funny, have yourself a trophy.
hillarious
You are awesome at freeform, but your haikus are consistently off. this one's 5 7 6.
Yeah! dude, come on. the only difference between this and your ass is some shit just stinks regardless of the nappy's staunching strength, dude. Duder. dudesky. duderooni. dudette.
Anyone, by the way, in my opinion, that uses the word 'dude' loosely or tightly to gain familiarity or bridge age gaps in a conversation are normally better off just shutting the fuck up without appearing to be 'hip' or 'with it'. Dude, because, they're not in fact, it's sad. Everytime my little brother calls my dad 'dude', or my dad calls me dude? I think to myself, now here are two people that are so afraid of communicating they can't even use one another's proper birth name or said title, and yes James, that's sad. So could you refer to me from this point on as Duke Dudington? Thankyou, for your attention to this most serious of matters.
Kiss ass. We all know how much I despise the womb, but I'm willing to let this slide today. 8.
lol.
Shardik
replying on The band "Sigh" aced their MENSA tests by Jeremi B. Handrinos
11 May 2003, 12:34 PM
Maybe your face, but not mine.
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
on The band "Sigh" aced their MENSA tests by Jeremi B. Handrinos
10 May 2003, 10:23 PM
stfu man, sigh own your face
If the bones are correct, you plucked it from the hamper of a sleeping rogue, wearing nothing but the singleton set of nudity.
where do you think i got 28?
Well, it's different. That's for sure. I enjoyed it.
Sir, I bid you refer back to the great serpent and snake war of 1994 when I single handedely rhymed 'wheelchair' with dew and jew in the same stanza. Then, upon having 'an' most educated of ideas I rhymed kolinsky with moonpie, and exploded. I then returned in three days, much to the suprise of many, and summoning up all of my might to rhyme top-soil with mop-bucket that's when I earned the yellow ribbon and souless shoe awarde for filtering through the semipermeable membrane of my own sole, and had become one with Sod the deity right below God and two below Mod! So there, you see the error of your envy, and that you sir, are the charlaten, not I!
Excuse me? Did you say something? Or did a bear just shit in the woods? Please don't mistake my rushed typing, and thinking patterns, for your stupidity and sociopathetic enabelings, thank you, I do believe the buzzer just boinged on your dryer. You know what that means? Your diapers are dry, scuttle along now.
"As the fiesta draws nearer, I sit in axious wait"
Anxious typo.
"rabbits" should be singular.
"promised land" should be present tense. 'promise'
End your stanzas with periods.
Who cares about the sentences.
Use more commas, just a few before 'ands'.
Remove your last stanza, it's ridiculous.
Other then that, nice poem.
I'd give it an eight now nine later.
A mouth full of after-birth.
If you rewrote this as a homoerotic seafaring epic it would be the best thing ever.
Come on dude, the only differences between this and your stuff is that this rhymes and doesn't go on for eight pages.