asimpleman
on Fighting erosion by INTRANSIT
25 Apr 2003, 4:12 AM
We r the idiots that forever be
Invading every country from air,land or sea
A sound contraption.
Actually, this one isn't bad. Any specific problems?
I rarely agree but in this case I totally agree...and yet it's a he. I can't help it. something compromises my better judment and I want him back and he keeps on breaking it off (well it's happened twice and I'm not going for the 3rd)
don't know if it could be considdered betrayal by any means. I blocked the reason I wrote this out. I can't remember =/
Nice to know you've got a coach. The woodsman part seemed humorous, to me. And the knigdom manager made it seem like you gave up. Just my view. I'm rather blind at the moment.
Beautiful. I especially enjoyed "makes you weak / often to the point where you weep". However, may I suggest the following alteration: "makes you weep / often to the point where you weep". Oh, and "soul full of emotion" is the most beautiful thing I have ever read. Ever. Also, great use of lower case letters throughout - it adds a touch of class that I feel is so desperately lacking from contemporary western literature. Now all you need to do is garnish with neat handwriting and a light sprinkling of "i think it's important to smile and yeah so what if i'm different i still have loads of chilled-out friends"
In the North, Dogwood Winter is a weather-based time of year, similiar in that way to Indian Summer. It usually means a late snow or frost and a few cold days following the first of Spring. In the Southern States, I believe they use the phrase "Blackberry Winter".
Any input would be much appreciated. This is still a work in progress but i wanted to post it to see others' opinions.
Excellent!
Where the fuck is our good friend Osama?
Are you plasticgirlwithgun? Where is plasticgirlwithgun I miss that posh forked tongue.
This makes you sound a bit pathetic, insanity is recommended for anyone on ranker, see you in the canteen with angelina and winona and we'll smoke a bleeding fist over processed tuna and big momma.
Cool, liked it.
8
Good Execution, and the explanation helped.
Eyes on you. 8
a real mixed bag here, liked the spider connotation(s) but it seems in parts redundant of meaning.6
leda is right, it starts strong then gave me a major headfuck
Yeah get rid of babydaddy, otherwise a bit of a cult scrawl 7
Thanks Horus, I have changed the ending. The end meant something but sounded funny begging to be misinterpreted so this fits better.
I got a love/hate thing going on with this, hmmm