-=SeTTle=-
replying on Simile by *Lyrisick*
19 Apr 2003, 10:19 PM
AS THE FOREMOST POEMRANKER POET GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT DICKLICKER
your bitterness exhausts me. quite like some of your poems though.
Not so sure about that last stanza, but the rest is Great.
You are the griddle, I am the meat. <---- sorry, that bit is from a song I'm listening to at the moment. Looooovage!
Thanks for the proof read.
As for the movie reference, haven't seen it. Amish? I don't get it.
Love, my friend, is something very personal. It can be a positive thing like for one of my friends, a negitive one like for another (the one in this poem), or a mixture of both as it has been for me. I don't think it's a specific environment or circumstance at all. As for using it as a breeding ground, I think not. Love for the child certianly helps but romantic love is often a temporary thing. Not something to be relied on and definatly not something to base another human's life on.
yea maybe, thanx
WONDERFULLY PERPLEXED, AND VIVID. - LYRISICK-.
"
He had served her ha(n)d and foot; why not one last time?"
"propve" is a romanian liquor mad out of walnuts.
Could I dare ask... Is this the sequel to harrison ford's witness? because this poem takes me to amish land like a time machine. A cow udder time machine.
As for love? well, love is an 'action' used to describe, define and structure a specific environment + circumstance + changing of awareness - What they told you it was . that which can not be held or kept only temporarily shared divided by (our grasp of time, which unfortunately is a constantly changing variable). It also serves for a great foundation to breed upon since normally before one experiences love they tend to be immature, selfish, needy, basically all over the adolescent map. here is a fact. Your love for another, for God, or yourself, are all risks undertaken by those who have succesully climbed that mountain of thought to reach that notion in order to jump in the first place. Which order one obtains those three in, in life, is what's critical however, and often confusing, hopeless, and fatal.
Look guys...im a self taught wannabe poet, ive had zero instruction, but im searching, looking for anyone to help me, i love writing and im want to be the best at what i do. sadly i am far from that, if anyone can give me some pointers on how to do this correctly i would be forever in their debt. right now im searching the internet on how to write this stuff, im asking any and every language major what they know, and im showing this to anyone who has an opinion. I need some guidance.
"
As if the tears were meant (to) flow out with every echoed boom.
Leaving in their wake (a) vast and meaningless container". couple erps here, but otherwise, 'right on'.
I happen to agree that this is merely prose, and therefore simply cannot be commented on as a poem (which is exactly what this site is asking!) If it were proseranker.com then this would indeed be viable, but as it is, this stands as a no. Definitely a no.
No it is supposed to be try, but thanx :)
Why strange?
NUDIST FLEET is an anagram of "STUDENT LIFE"!!
OneFingerAnswer
replying on "Mute nostril agony" Titled & inspired by Frass. by Bachus
19 Apr 2003, 3:55 PM
Quit being a Brit. Apologize is a proper spelling. If you can't get over a single letter then take your thumb and stick it in the centre of your arse.
OneFingerAnswer
replying on OK, I apologize - it's steaming shite and no mistake, but it was the best I could come up with on the spur of the moment. I'm off to slit my wrists now, since writer's block has sent me spiralling into the depths of the deepest depression in human history... by Yardbird
19 Apr 2003, 3:31 PM
You are such a liar.
Using the word silly when it's said with spite is childish? I don't think so. If you can think of a better word I'll thank you but I think it fits fine.
Yes I like the rhythm and the sudden stops in it
Quite creative
You remind me of a dwarf I once met in a public house in Twatshire. He would run up and down the bar, stopping at random intervals to squat and rattle a cup of change. Of course, he eventually escaped, and we never saw him again.
dear mr angel
i asked for your opinion on my poem, not on me or my website
zoe
Overall an amazing poem, but just felt like silly didn't really fit in though. Maybe you could look for a different adjective. Since in the whole dark and wise tone of the whole poem, silly is a little naive and childish.