Jeremi B. Handrinos
on Over beast by Crakyamuni
16 Feb 2003, 11:59 AM
Talent no doubt.
Rosewood works better. It's got masons in it.
Poet.
okay?
A chipper snob, none the less.
Decent, but why do i keep counting eighteen? You know when i was younger i lived on the island of Kauai. I saw a pig roast. Many beautiful sunsets. I watched them kill the pig. I have never heard a sound come out of any living thing even similiar. Have you heard that sound? I'll wait to vote for your assesment of the structure.
Good show.
Ouch that comment actually gave me a headache
I feel like I've read this before
According to dictionary.com you misspelled your second word in line 2.
good use of shakespearian rhythm
wow, wow, wow, ---this is quality man
howl!
bravo.
Too long to be a haiku but the images are good.
Neat work, and you've got possibly the best username on this site!
Thanks Cad, I'll have a look about for the names given to destructive winds and I'll edit this in a few days or so because this is (as it says) a draft. I never actually thought of 4 winds, thank you for the idea.
Ta.
awesome, I got no beef sorry pork with this at all. 10
A Vilanelle in the top 15, the only one congrats amigo. Loved the last stanza in particular dance with this fat lady.......8
Its actually Caducus, Ranger this is quite a mature piece, I love all the lines except the 1000 winds, four winds is ok, try and find out the name for the most desructive wind is, as this is all about destruction. The end line should be simply this...dozens of sympathy cards, but condolences ring hollow.
something like that, but in your words. I'm giving a 9 here and be encouraged this I respect more than your other stuff.
There are some great lines in here, but too much unnecessary description of feeling (as god'swife says). I can see that you'll make a good writer or poet if you try. This deserves a 7, ideas and images are there, they just need to be selected and emphasised more (yeah, I know, emotion's a bastard to get down onto paper, I can't do it very well. Actually I can't write poetry very well. Oh well.)