Shardik
on Past by Dostoyevsky
6 Feb 2003, 6:09 PM
I liked this. I gave you the blue nine a couple of hours ago. cheers.
A bit chirped... i feel and rushed.
Grrrrrrr.
Great poem! Maybe think about changing "and that's the end" since it doesn't need to rhyme, just a thought.
I love the title, completely love it, but the poem I cannot understand, nor its relationship to said title.
Yeah i like that... i'll use it thanks.i
Did i mention Kip Winger put his hands in my cement? care for a triscuit?
FUCK! you made me spill my enzyme enriched carrot juice upon my dwarfe (gold plated) now i must dismiss him to the grotto of remanufactured hand towels. Sir, i would appreciate it if you would keep your tennise ballse off of my putting green this hour of the day it foils my concentration. 11! (the comment).
Jeremi B. Handrinos
replying on An Ode to the professor, but not Marianne by Jeremi B. Handrinos
6 Feb 2003, 12:22 PM
Negative, my mother's name is hedwig marianne, and i have a hard on for professors that's all. This has nothing to do with learned men who teach and use this sight. otherwise i would of called the piece 'your mouths swirl clockwise above the equator'.
LOL
razorgrin
replying on An Ode to the professor, but not Marianne by Jeremi B. Handrinos
6 Feb 2003, 11:01 AM
I was thinking the Dark Elves as well, being the D&D geek I am.
The `Love under Will`statement comes from Aleister Crowley`s Book of the Law. The Kundalini is Yogic, as was perceptively noticed. The second stanza comes from the writings of John Dee and the rest was derived from the Munich Handbook, a 15th century necromancer`s manual. Glad you liked it, though. It`s just love that`s been unrequited and how the other person doesn`t bend under the writer-magician`s will. Just using the magic as a metaphor.
Goode Sir! Please do not make poemranker your tawdry confessional! I bid you Goode Day!
If the crime is "having the heart to care" then I guess I'm guilty as charged. If the crime is "giving a damn about the feelings of others" then I guess you'd better lock me up. If the crime is "being physically and morally disgusted at Man's treatment of Man" then I guess I'd have to plead 'insanity'. But if the crime is "having to hoist myself onto the toilet using some sort of obscene harness together with a complex system of ropes and pulleys" then there is absolutely no basis for those allegations whatsoever and I resent the accusation that I cannot make toilet on my own terms!!!
2 things:
"With bare feet, and never a sock"
redundant. feels like you were trying too hard.
ending couplet suggestion:
my head swung low, as retreated, the sun
two holes now bled slow: so ended my fun.
did you at least pick up that snake oil i asked you to bring home? why, what was he asking for it?
the rhythm in this faulers, scitz. also, drop the last line.
also also--you cannot keep your feelings secret; they will out. you just went to the wrong one, is all. too bad there's no way beforehand to find a match.
my goodness. there is some straight-forward moral outrage in that husk after all. glad to see it. honestly, i never thought you would treat any vile subject in a less-than-flippant way.
lots of vivid words in this, its very well written and the 1st yoga reference i've seen in a poem, i'm impressed. -9-