Bobjim
replying on Disgusting Stickmen by Bobjim
17 Jan 2003, 11:57 AM
Added a guaranted offender. Hee-hee.
No, your asking for it.
I think this is better than the original.
Poo.
nork - the capital nof new jersey, right?
Heark yourself.
Robert K Foster
on OK, I apologize - it's steaming shite and no mistake, but it was the best I could come up with on the spur of the moment. I'm off to slit my wrists now, since writer's block has sent me spiralling into the depths of the deepest depression in human history... by Yardbird
17 Jan 2003, 11:38 AM
I hope you don't hurt yourself. It isn't the right thing to do. I like this limerick lots and lots and I hope you stick around and write more.
as i knotted his noose
(simply becasue he couldn't scream and dangle) otherwise, I like this! a valiant job. 9.
I added 3 more! Also comments! This should offend some stupid fuck at least.
cute.
again, line lengths disrupt what the rhythm should be.
get rid of "who" in the first one,
and th elast one, while the premise is good, doesn't seem to flow as well as the others. overall, an 8
Do you now?
rhyme scheme, OK
but the rhythm is amiss.
a fine poem, but not really limericky.
lines 3+4 are cumbersome
you sir, are the discarded molt of a milk snake.