god'swife
on L.O.V.E. by bxjay170
13 Nov 2002, 1:53 AM
I'm suprised you can write. Or did someome at church submit this for you?
You made me laugh. Especially 'So long as elephants...' Use your brains for something I prefer, like and ode to depleted uranium. Thank you in advance.
I think your poems are awful and completely inaccessible. Other than that I think you're a self-centered inconsiderate creep.
Needs work but fantastic at the end.
Best so far.
No matter how new the tractor, it still looks old. You don't need a gym membership, your skin will pop. The thing I love best about your poems (and you) is that there is no illusion more fantastic than the truth.
You obviously are not a poet. Wrapped in endless laughter.
Cancer is something no poet should really try to tackle...no matter how much experience they have with the disease. It's a recipe for disaster. If you know nothing baout cancer, then what is the point? If you know everything about cancer then you're way too closely related to the content. I was somewhat interested in the first stanza until I remebered the title and realized what it was about. Make it vaguely about love or sex like everything else.
It isn't very funny. I mean, calling Star Wars fans stupid fat faggots *might* be funny, but this is the sort of garbage comedy you'll see on TV or something.
Fast and furious. good stuff, maynard.
Your morality segment ruins everything, but then maybe I do not have the insight to understand this sort of hard-hitting hipster thing.
Please, use line breaks! And this sounds a bit too much like a greeting card.
What if the tractor is a brand new John Deere? It just doesn't work. But Aspen just was pounded with a couple of feet of snow and opens next week. Early for the first time in years!
this is priceless, and extrordinarilly keen. keen on what? the vagina and gutters. have a 10.
i think the last line should be replaced by "in the shape of a post it stamp 'pon his lightsaber" or some shite like that.here's a nine, the last act though needs work still just a bit... barely.
that's a hoot.almost a torch song. 8.
lose the tonight at the end...not bad though...for a spazz. 7.
((gay -> AIDS) -> gay) -> gay
This completes the proof.
Big bad universal themes written in big bad universal language just doesn't seem hunky dory. Do you read poems over the CB to all the other truckers? And after you are finished do you say 10-4?
I was not bothering you. You merely asked for suggestions regarding the perversion poems and I offered a couple as goofy as the ones you had already posted. You made an initial comment about my mother regarding a poem, simple as that. Everything past that point has been a response to that. Previous comments have been in regards to your asinine comments regarding things you obviously no little about: world affairs. And you spew angry sentiments without logic. Yes, I think most people, whether they know someone or not, can feel for the loss of life that is taken in such tragic proportion in any situation. I am sorry you lack the ability to comprehend this, and that you would rather stoop to name calling and wishing that I had a life, etc. etc., when really that has little to do with any of the argument. In your educational development, are you learning anything, Have you traveled at all? Or do you just get you kicks at the local McDonald's? A place that if you had any sensible knowledge or ethics, you would choose not to frequent.