Re: a comment on Returning by Dovina	Dovina 204.250.12.246	29-Apr-05/6:16 AM
It's easy really, when all the other doors are closed.
Re: a comment on Returning by Dovina	Dovina 204.250.12.246	29-Apr-05/6:14 AM
I hadn't thought of it as my best. No matter, thanks for the kudos.
Re: Just a Poem by Damien	zodiac 212.118.19.76	29-Apr-05/5:25 AM
I wonder if you read much of the poetry that's written these days. Of course a lot of it is crap, just like most poetry from any time, but I think you'd be really surprised and pleased by some. Check it out. Robert Pinsky posts a new poem on his Slate.com page every week. They're always pretty good, and you can see them here: http://www.slate.com/?id=3944&;cp=3333. A recent one has one of my favorite bits of poetry ever: how scrufty, how anciently scabby we, he and I; how worn, how self-devoured, balls and all, balls, balls and all.
Re: Middle-Aged White Woman by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.76	29-Apr-05/5:18 AM
"Begin with an individual, and before you know it you find that you have created a type; begin with a type, and you find that you have created - nothing." -'The Rich Boy'
Re: Returning by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.76	29-Apr-05/5:15 AM
This is the best thing you've posted here. I read it once just for the flow of it. "There are all kinds of love in the world, but never the same love twice." - F Scott Fitzgerald, 'The Sensible Thing'
Re: Carnival Creatures by <{Baba^Yaga}>	zodiac 212.118.19.76	29-Apr-05/5:03 AM
This is great. One thing: "born" should be "borne".
Re: Censor by nentwined	zodiac 212.118.19.76	29-Apr-05/4:57 AM
I don't get it. So nothing's actually censored, it just has a bunch of odd Xs inserted?
Re: Walking Out by NoSage	zodiac 212.118.19.76	29-Apr-05/4:53 AM
Say "his", not "their".
Re: Sins of convenience by sunset sky	zodiac 212.118.19.76	29-Apr-05/4:50 AM
The last stanza has got to go.
Re: Requiem by ChaseValentine	zodiac 212.118.19.76	29-Apr-05/4:47 AM
The line "that paint deserts golden pink" doesn't seem connected to any of the rest of the poem. And I don't even know if it's true. "Settling" should probably be "settle". Samson and Delilah doesn't really fit, since you're getting your hair cut (i.e., you're Samson) but it's not making you weak (i.e., like it did Samson). The last two lines are great and well-broken. Make the two lines leading into them stronger. You don't need to say "I've shorn myself for the summer" for so long, since you've already said it and better. Think of something else. -10-.
Re: a comment on Lost key for a hall-closet by zodiac	zodiac 212.118.19.76	29-Apr-05/4:37 AM
I considered that. Now I think the key's just some vaguely-defined passion, the kind of thing middleagers mail-order "instructional" videos to recapture.
Re: a comment on Untitled by http://mulberryfairy	zodiac 212.118.19.76	29-Apr-05/4:29 AM
She lives in Maine. There is only one man.
Re: The Resilient Woman by Joe-joe	zodiac 212.118.19.76	29-Apr-05/4:28 AM
Not bad, but it should be "thirst like she HAS never known before" and broken into several shorter sentences - after "reside", I'd say, and maybe after "brine".
Re: a comment on Panama by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.76	29-Apr-05/4:17 AM
Um, yeah. I said that was the layout, and I didn't like it. It's not ambiguous or anything. I just thought it didn't work.
Re: a comment on Breakfast by James Rykelangeli	zodiac 212.118.19.76	29-Apr-05/4:09 AM
But don't feel bad. I'd rather be clever any day than typically poetic. And when I was your age I thought I was one of the Algonquin Circle.
Re: a comment on Breakfast by James Rykelangeli	zodiac 212.118.19.76	29-Apr-05/4:07 AM
Are you under the impression that mature people talk like this? Look, just so you know I'm not some Neanderthal, I got a perfect score on the English section of the SAT and a near-perfect on GRE English, and if I were anywhere near you now I'd beat you up for your lunch money. I responded, um, incendiarily because of your smug response to the commenter above and because you're just a little thesaurophilic for your own good. I have to admit, I thought the brook feeding the champaign was rather clever - but it's clever only; it's not particularly artistic, well-put or, more importantly, evocative. That is, when you read this poem aloud to people, it's not going to give them an image of brooks feeding champaigns or nearly anything else. Don't lose all the clever words, but make this able to impress and evoke in people without them. And scientific phrasing in poetry is overdone at least since Dovina started doing it.
Re: a comment on Hanging Gallows by Hadasl	zodiac 212.118.19.76	29-Apr-05/3:49 AM
What do you know? I gave him a higher vote than you did.
Re: Untitled by http://mulberryfairy	Joe-joe 68.194.47.34	29-Apr-05/2:01 AM
Hello Mulberry. I hope all is well with you. Why the orientation change? Why not just find another man?
Re: Las Gaviotas by Bachus	NoSage 207.200.116.130	28-Apr-05/8:39 PM
I hate to admit I like this, but I do.
Re: a comment on Untitled by http://mulberryfairy	http://mulberryfairy 216.195.165.7	28-Apr-05/8:29 PM
Luckily, in Maine, we have domestic partner benefits, regardless.