Re: lost... by Tineke	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/2:51 PM
Linkin Park? Is that you?
Re: The Watching Brother by forestchild7	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/2:50 PM
I'm not sure if this is a poem about Furries or Pagans. Either way.
Re: Swirls of light... by DevilTmptrss	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/2:48 PM
ABAB rhyme schemes are almost never good. It comes off as forced.
Re: ebb flow by crwncka1	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/2:41 PM
A lot of Sound and Fury, as they say.
Re: Tunder by Bakar	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/2:37 PM
A native what? American? Is the last stanza supposed to be ironic? There are subtle touches to this that I like, but they don't go anywhere at all.
Re: LIVE FROM CHEYENNE,WY. "The Forgeters!" by horus8	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/2:35 PM
Uh...what? Also, hey, whatever happened to Haikus just being, you know, one stanza?
Re: a comment on Breakfast by James Rykelangeli	James Rykelangeli 169.229.90.109	27-Apr-05/2:26 PM
I don't understand what provoked this incendiary response. If it was my poem, please explain how so, for yours is not the reaction I intended to elicit from the reader.
Re: L'Étoile by Shardik	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/2:26 PM
Ooh. This could be good if there were more to it. It seems less like poetry and more like "microfiction."
Re: Smoking Clitoris with PHD handles by <{Baba^Yaga}>	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/2:21 PM
I liked the part about the Kamikaze pilot names. Everything else is nonsense. And not the good kind, either.
Re: Breakfast by James Rykelangeli	Ranger 131.251.0.55	27-Apr-05/9:59 AM
First 2 stanzas are very clever and quite amusing, after that you try to be too clever...let's face it, most people will think you've made a typo when you say 'cresset of the moon'. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm simply retarded.
Re: Sailor Dress by sunset sky	Dovina 204.250.12.246	27-Apr-05/7:01 AM
Well told story. Why did she do it? - that's the lingering question. Welcome to poemranker.
Re: I killed you in New Mexico by sunset sky	Dovina 204.250.12.246	27-Apr-05/6:56 AM
Provocative, but lacking whatever it was that connected them and a reason for the love-lilling.
Re: Ode To The Fly In My Beer by ChaseValentine	zodiac 213.186.171.241	27-Apr-05/6:52 AM
bossa nova is in Portuguese, not Spanish.
Re: a comment on Lost key for a hall-closet by zodiac	zodiac 213.186.171.241	27-Apr-05/6:47 AM
There was originally a stanza before the "friend of hers" part about her schmuck husband taking off the closet door to fix it and how they were passionless, etc, but it didn't rate, really. Maybe I should try fixing it. PS-In my imagining of things, the hall-closet was where they keep porn. I also thought she should be gay or extremely masturbatory at the end.
Re: Lost key for a hall-closet by zodiac	Dovina 204.250.12.246	27-Apr-05/6:41 AM
Verses 1 and 2 flow well. Verse 3 starts a transition (knew is really known or new) "She's a lowland topography to her life" is good. Some lines seem unrelated, like, "a man never lost without thinking the word new"
Re: a comment on This one the love by thepinkbunnyofdoom	zodiac 213.186.171.241	27-Apr-05/6:39 AM
That's never the way it works. I'll be all cellulite and desperation, you won't even remove your sportcoat before I blow you. And besides, I'm married. Actually, the poem comes from the Negro conversation. If it's impossible for whites to write about blacks fairly, it ought to be impossible for me to write about women fairly. Don't you think?
Re: Lost key for a hall-closet by zodiac	<~> 167.206.181.179	27-Apr-05/6:29 AM
the first 4 stanzas reeled me in, vivid world. you lost me when you started with her thinking about the lingere--what does that have to do with the lost key? okay, i say, maybe he'll pull it together later, and i read on. and then you offer me the last chance--the scallops on the stove and the half-naked woman--and still, no key. okay, i get it it, but the integrration needs work. her sudden realization that 'it isn't here'--why is that an 'of course' reaction?
Re: I do... Not! by Billy Fights	zodiac 213.186.171.241	27-Apr-05/6:27 AM
Hey, great title!
Re: I killed you in New Mexico by sunset sky	zodiac 213.186.171.241	27-Apr-05/6:26 AM
You should make the hyphenation consistent. What about "worry-stricken" and "lightning-eyed"?
Re: a comment on Breakfast by James Rykelangeli	zodiac 213.186.171.241	27-Apr-05/6:23 AM
The votes you get on this poem are probably going to be inversely proportional to how many lumps of dark matter you expect us to ingest. You're a clever one, aren't you? What are you, like 12?