Re: a comment on Censor by nentwined	nentwined 64.60.192.130	28-Apr-05/12:18 PM
I bet this is much, much worse now. :)
Re: a comment on Censor by nentwined	nentwined 64.60.192.130	28-Apr-05/12:11 PM
Eh. It's mildly retarded. trickle trick-- le maybe? just trying to drip the thoughts down, ish.
Re: Censor by nentwined	sliver 205.188.116.199	28-Apr-05/12:08 PM
I don't get the le part.
Re: a comment on Fingers Are Soldiers by somemorepoetry	somemorepoetry 207.79.234.180	28-Apr-05/9:33 AM
thanks. It's actually about writing.
Re: a comment on Panama by Dovina	Dovina 204.250.12.246	28-Apr-05/5:15 AM
The subject of every sentence is either "he" or "she." The phrases following the first line of every verse refer back to the subject. You don't have to like it, but that's the layout.
Re: Fingers Are Soldiers by somemorepoetry	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.24.61	27-Apr-05/10:42 PM
***Jawless comrades ***Gape at us with ***Broken, edited teeth. Damn good images in this. Some of them bloody as hell, but damn good.
Re: I killed you in New Mexico by sunset sky	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.24.61	27-Apr-05/10:30 PM
2nd stanza is incredible. Why 5 lines in the other two stanzas? Why not just keep the lines "Kneeling and bleeding to death" and "I was your temple-worship Hand me down" as one line instead of two. I think the writing is better than the form here. Still a 10 in my book. <3 Jason
Re: Your Mom, My Dad by jessicazee	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.24.61	27-Apr-05/10:23 PM
The line breaks could be better.
Re: Somehow, Hope by DeadtotheWorld	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.24.61	27-Apr-05/10:11 PM
I have to wonder, what the hell were you smoking? I can't even begin to tell you all the things that irritated me about this. Try not to use the same words repeatedly(Like 'many' for one example, there are plenty of other words that mean the exact same thing). I liked what I thought you were trying to get at here, but I hated how you tried to get there. -4-
Re: am i right? by celticskatermatt1	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.24.61	27-Apr-05/9:55 PM
Okay, a tip about poetry. Write like your on crack and seeing funny shit. In other words be inventive.
Re: spiritual living by mystic enoch	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.24.61	27-Apr-05/9:31 PM
"life changes, love doesn't." Think of how things sound if you read aloud. Didn't affect my vote, but I thought I'd mention it. -7-
Re: a comment on I do... Not! by Billy Fights	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.24.61	27-Apr-05/9:27 PM
Guitar, Bass, and Drums. I'm best at Guitar considering that I don't own any of the others. I'm currently working on my classical acoustic. <3 Jason
Re: Carnival Creatures by <{Baba^Yaga}>	somemorepoetry 165.121.228.76	27-Apr-05/7:37 PM
I'm not sure if you need a question mark at the end or not, but this was good either way.
Re: What Happens When It Rains by ChaseValentine	<{Baba^Yaga}> 24.130.62.63	27-Apr-05/3:48 PM
Nice.
Re: The Situation as it Stands by ChaseValentine	<{Baba^Yaga}> 24.130.62.63	27-Apr-05/3:48 PM
Eh.
Re: Letters Left Unsent by ChaseValentine	<{Baba^Yaga}> 24.130.62.63	27-Apr-05/3:47 PM
Better.
Re: Ode To The Fly In My Beer by ChaseValentine	<{Baba^Yaga}> 24.130.62.63	27-Apr-05/3:47 PM
Right...
Re: Sailor Dress by sunset sky	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/3:25 PM
Yes.
Re: a comment on Breakfast by James Rykelangeli	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/3:14 PM
No, no. You're right. My fault. My lack of vocabulary. I read "cresset" as meaning to be "crescent" and "champaign" as meaning to be "champagne." I thought you were drinking mimosas or something. Honestly, I like it more having read it again. But I agree that I think it's maybe trying too hard.
Re: Your Mom, My Dad by jessicazee	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/2:58 PM
I really like this. This has the nice intimate touches that all poems should have. But what I got lost in was the (I assume intentional) rambling structure. For instance, when I first read "the first time you threw up it was all Tootsie Rolls/Southern Comfort/cat hair," I read it as one unbroken thought, which made me wonder why someone would be throwing up cat hair.