Re: a comment on My Dumb Choice...YOU by sonawrote	Damien 212.248.252.234	19-Apr-05/5:13 AM
Can you say something good about anything. You Fu"kin P"ss T"king B"astard. Are we aloud to use " oh great Goad.
Re: Wasted Words by ho_hum	Damien 212.248.252.234	19-Apr-05/4:56 AM
Nice poem. stop thinking........ and dont ........ also forget the...... next time leave.......out
Re: a comment on Trying to get signed? by Damien	Damien 212.248.252.234	19-Apr-05/4:54 AM
Congratulations you have just made around 8 assumptions of the way I personally think JUST from one line, WOW you have a great imagination. you only want positive comments on your poems if you really wanted to improve you would welcome all constructive criticism, but you don't you are a little too insecure to receive constructive criticism Ans as for: "All I need now is an honest opinion of this If I can write this simply do I have a gift?", AM I NOT ALOUD TO USE MY IMAGINATION
Re: My Dumb Choice...YOU by sonawrote	Goad 80.132.208.141	19-Apr-05/4:37 AM
Ok, please explain this c -> * for me. You're choosing to use the word fuck in something you wrote. You're posting it on a board that has absolutely no censorship, ever. WHAT. is. the. purpose. of spelling it fu*k instead of fuck? What does it accomplish? what does it do for you? I'm genuinely curious. Is there something really really wrong or politically incorrect with the letter c, that I'm just not aware of?
Re: Gaping Hole by sonawrote	Goad 80.132.208.141	19-Apr-05/4:27 AM
I've heard there are exercises/meditations you can do that will cause the gaping hole to gradually tighten back up again. That way it's nice and snug when someone new comes along.
Re: Trying to get signed? by Damien	ho_hum 129.169.158.92	19-Apr-05/3:23 AM
Damien, you say on your homepage: "Think what you want but express what you like not what is wrong." Which makes me think that you only want positive comments on your poems. Now, if you really wanted to improve you would welcome all constructive criticism, but you don't. This makes me think that you are a little too insecure to receive constructive criticism as it is meant. Now if you put you poems on a website called "poemRANKER", then you can't really get all upset if someone scores you a zero; that's just their perception of your work. There's no point expecting people to build up your self image, when the image they will create (of an excellent poet) is inaccurate. You say "All I need now is an honest opinion of this If I can write this simply do I have a gift?", you've been given an honest answer, and you've got all upset about it. It may suprise you, but if you do write something brilliant, it will generally get comments saying it is brilliant. And finally, the grammer issue. You must accept that it is important, consider the following two sentences: A woman, without her man, is nothing. A woman; without her, man is nothing. Identical words, almost directly contradictory meanings, all achieved by the placement of punctuation. So your claim that: "if everybody decided to do this we would still understand each other." may not be as correct as you think. Even the addition of a few commas to your poems would help a great deal, think of it as helping hands guiding the reader through your work. Now don't get all offensive.
Re: a comment on Utensils of creation by Damien	Damien 212.248.252.234	19-Apr-05/1:39 AM
Actually being filthy rich so I could, and believe me or not: share my money with the world
Re: a comment on 15 Minute poem by Damien	Damien 212.248.252.234	19-Apr-05/1:35 AM
I was at work in my break
Re: a comment on 15 Minute poem by Damien	Damien 212.248.252.234	19-Apr-05/1:34 AM
Thanks, you have just pointed out my strong point
Re: f*ckyouoldmenandyourrules by Damien_	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.24.34	19-Apr-05/12:01 AM
Seriously. Why do you censor yourself? What is the point of it? Censorship just seem like one of the rules you've some how retained I guess. You had me for awhile, before I got bored by shear length, and subject matter that I felt was being beat overly to death. Yes, it's okay to slam multiple poets in one post, No, it's not okay to slam multiple poets in one post given the amount of time, and the aforementioned droning subject. Ambition is a good thing to have. Eye strain however, sucks for poetry. -7- Because I liked alot of it. I just thought there was way too much of it.
Re: f*ckyouoldmenandyourrules by Damien_	zodiac 212.118.19.224	18-Apr-05/10:43 PM
Congratulations, this is the man you just called a brainiac: http://rockmage.com/biography.jsp Get bored and leave soon.
Re: 15 Minute poem by Damien	zodiac 212.118.19.224	18-Apr-05/10:37 PM
Just think how much better this poem would have been if you'd spent 30 minutes on it instead of 15. What were you so busy doing that you couldn't spend another fifteen minutes and made it twice as good? I'll bet you were whacking off to either the blonde daughter or the gothish daughter, or both, on Rosanne.
Re: a comment on Utensils of creation by Damien	zodiac 212.118.19.224	18-Apr-05/10:34 PM
Why don't you name something you, Damien, would consider a standard for a successful life? For example, BIKES: I, Damien, have a 24-speed bike. What've you got? I'll be waiting.
Re: a comment on Reincarnation by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.224	18-Apr-05/10:18 PM
Oh, good answer. I've got another one: Have you ever noticed that everybody thinks they were somebody great or at least meaningful in some kind of historically relevant place? I mean, no one ever thinks, I was an accountant in Des Moines in my past life. They're always, as in the case of my wife, an Egyptian slave, an Irish priestess (seriously), a Renaissance mathematician, a Native American, and a Mexican potter. Weird, huh?
Re: a comment on the Dreamer by darylchew	zodiac 212.118.19.224	18-Apr-05/10:13 PM
Can I make a suggestion? Most people don't want to read other peoples' rushes of thoughts. They want to read something you've put a little effort and time into. Doesn't that make sense? If you're going to say, no poetry isn't like that it's spur-of-the-moment and emotional - well, then you'd be wrong. Most well-liked poets spend a lot of time and energy making their poems look like they didn't take a lot of time or energy. Anyway, one thing you should think about while writing a poem is that IF YOU'VE EVER HEARD anything like what you're thinking about writing, don't write it. Write about something different. I'm not trying to dis. I know what it's like to be fifteen and starting to write poetry. This is what I wish someone had said to me back then.
Re: a comment on Middle-Aged White Woman by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.224	18-Apr-05/10:06 PM
1) Yes and no. For one thing, they don't say "oppression... in this particular case." They call that, a bad day. Oppression is bad days forever. For instance, at any point during this reading, did you lose your right to get up and LEAVE the motherfucking reading? 2) You think I'm not listening to you and pulling interpretations out of my ass. Now you listen. I am listening to you. But there are things you don't know, because you have to learn them in college classes, or you have to live and work for a long time among African-Americans, or you have to spend a long time actually working towards greater freedom and equality for African-Americans, or you have to have a lot of common sense. You've got none of these things. I do. So, pay attention: These are not zodiac's wild-haired out-of-the-blue interpretations; these are the STANDARD INTERPRETATIONS for writing of this kind, taught on the first day of any literature class. To wit, I showed this poem to my wife - who, by the way, is nothing like me and only took two semesters of literature as an undergrad. She said EXACTLY THE SAME THING. Incidentally, if you'd made this poem about women instead of blacks, I'd be saying the same thing. 3) Great, and we both know this poem's only about one individual, because you've really only met one black individual, haven't you? Oh... but wait. You've posted this poem on a public website, where we readers read poems and try (since this is the point of poetry anyway) to somehow relate them to our lives. But, then, we don't know your one black disser, so we start thinking about other black people WE might know. AND IT COMES ACROSS AS MOTHERFUCKING RACIST, GODDAMMIT. Is that how you want to present yourself to the world? No, you say, just to zodiac. Bow'ls. If you were on a real poetry site you'd have been lynched the first day, no explanations. At least I'm trying to explain what's going on here, preferably before you go saying it to the SECOND black person you meet in your life. 4) If I told you "Dovina, go ahead, post 25 comments on poemranker today", what would you think? 5) Then it's not making up. The suggestion that it's even in the same category is racist. To wit, consider if instead of "ignoring, not hiring, etc" you'd said to your black reader, "go ahead, my people deserve it, take this Nerf foam bat and go wild on me." It's simply silly. 6) So I'm supposed to be giving constructive advice and all. Here goes: Re-write this poem so it has nothing to do with white ancestors and black ancestors (incidentally, the trouble comes when you start grouping whites and blacks, even ancestors). Make it about a guy that dissed you, but it was okay because while driving to the reading you hit all of his children with your Volkswagen. You'd been powerbrokering on your cellphone at the time.
Re: Reincarnation by Dovina	Sasha 69.138.228.137	18-Apr-05/9:52 PM
"Model of truth" is superfluous Third stanza can go.
Re: 15 Minute poem by Damien	sonawrote 152.163.100.67	18-Apr-05/9:05 PM
Hey Damien, nice piece, have u ever considered stand up in NY? I could set u up w/ some people that would love ya....set u in motion to where u should be already on TV...get in touch ellasona@yahoo.com
Re: Bad grammar and spelling mistakes by Damien	sonawrote 152.163.100.67	18-Apr-05/9:02 PM
keep it up....I'll always read what u got cummin'
Re: f*ckyouoldmenandyourrules by Damien_	sonawrote 152.163.100.67	18-Apr-05/8:57 PM
Finally, someone on this site with a brain & talent,the only nasty comments U will get is from those you speak of.....deeply enjoyed this one, you should be doing stand up though.....Def poetry Jam would love you....Ella