replying on Piano by Dovina
10 Mar 2006, 4:19 PM
lol, got to go.
replying on I’m unsaid and dead by Prince of Void
10 Mar 2006, 3:54 PM
From Homer, Sisyphus was the wisest and most prudent of mortals because he rolled a stone up a hill only to watch it roll back down. But I think Homer was wrong because by that standard, the writing of poetry wiser and more prudent.
on I’m unsaid and dead by Prince of Void
10 Mar 2006, 3:36 PM
How uplifting this is! You cannot imagine how words like "I drop tears upon the last hope," tears of joy upon realizing hope's fulfillment. And "How less I effort to put the pain away," just shows the pain-relieving medicine of a happy soul. Yes, "All words are absurd" in such happiness.
on no title by mystic enoch
10 Mar 2006, 3:30 PM
Title: "Prince of Void"
The line, "Free me from the world that I linger in," has a prayer-like tone and a "that," neither of which seem appropriate
The line, "Free me from the world that I linger in," has a prayer-like tone and a "that," neither of which seem appropriate
on The Tale of Hominus Ominus by Blue Magpie
10 Mar 2006, 3:26 PM
Very good. You built the case for Ominus needing Aggapus, but for the reverse to be true, as you say it is in the last verse, we need a strong example, as in the former. "no-one" could be no one.
on the comet by pollywolly
9 Mar 2006, 1:37 PM
Does it really fly? is it a burning sphere? and it draws nearer or farer, I do believe.
on Stella 130 by BenRice
9 Mar 2006, 1:33 PM
A good-dog poem, but a bit wordy and cumbersome, i.e.:
"If coal is black" seems trite. Why not just "As coal . . .
"greyhounds that race" could drop the "that."
"long tail is wagged" Passive voice could be made active.
And If her name is stella, why not make it the last word?
"If coal is black" seems trite. Why not just "As coal . . .
"greyhounds that race" could drop the "that."
"long tail is wagged" Passive voice could be made active.
And If her name is stella, why not make it the last word?