poemranker ::20 most recent comments by ChaseValentine and replies

Comments byChaseValentine, the 20 most recent, including replies. Only comments on poems

on Sailor Dress by sunset sky 27 Apr 2005, 3:25 PM
Yes.
replying on Breakfast by James Rykelangeli 27 Apr 2005, 3:14 PM
No, no. You're right. My fault. My lack of vocabulary. I read "cresset" as meaning to be "crescent" and "champaign" as meaning to be "champagne." I thought you were drinking mimosas or something.

Honestly, I like it more having read it again. But I agree that I think it's maybe trying too hard.
on Your Mom, My Dad by jessicazee 27 Apr 2005, 2:58 PM
I really like this. This has the nice intimate touches that all poems should have. But what I got lost in was the (I assume intentional) rambling structure.

For instance, when I first read "the first time you threw up it was all Tootsie Rolls/Southern Comfort/cat hair," I read it as one unbroken thought, which made me wonder why someone would be throwing up cat hair.
on lost... by Tineke 27 Apr 2005, 2:51 PM
Linkin Park? Is that you?
on The Watching Brother by forestchild7 27 Apr 2005, 2:50 PM
I'm not sure if this is a poem about Furries or Pagans. Either way.
on Swirls of light... by DevilTmptrss 27 Apr 2005, 2:48 PM
ABAB rhyme schemes are almost never good. It comes off as forced.
on ebb flow by crwncka1 27 Apr 2005, 2:41 PM
A lot of Sound and Fury, as they say.
on Tunder by Bakar 27 Apr 2005, 2:37 PM
A native what? American? Is the last stanza supposed to be ironic?

There are subtle touches to this that I like, but they don't go anywhere at all.
on LIVE FROM CHEYENNE,WY. "The Forgeters!" by horus8 27 Apr 2005, 2:35 PM
Uh...what? Also, hey, whatever happened to Haikus just being, you know, one stanza?
on L'Étoile by Shardik 27 Apr 2005, 2:26 PM
Ooh. This could be good if there were more to it. It seems less like poetry and more like "microfiction."
on Smoking Clitoris with PHD handles by <{Baba^Yaga}> 27 Apr 2005, 2:21 PM
I liked the part about the Kamikaze pilot names. Everything else is nonsense. And not the good kind, either.
on Breakfast by James Rykelangeli 26 Apr 2005, 8:28 PM
Aside from some typos, I really, really, really like the first two stanzas. After that, it's like, "I get it. Don't throttle it."
on Whales by Jeremi B. Handrinos 26 Apr 2005, 3:53 PM
That last haiku seems really awkward and out of place with the other two.