on Her name was Marjorie Harper by Caducus
22 Oct 2007, 10:27 PM
awed
on Henry's breeches by Stephen Robins
22 Oct 2007, 10:21 PM
It's horrible - the indignity of being an old man... hurts huh?
on One Perfect Moment by sonawrote
22 Oct 2007, 10:19 PM
if this is a true account of a time in your life - tell of something that has a personal touch, for readers to connect to the melancholy of it all. Otherwise it's just nothing, a blurb on the back of a romance novel...
on Never Let Go by x0lovelylarnx0
22 Oct 2007, 10:07 PM
I'm not sure I understand this one...is it a dream? I am confused a little with the ending, is the protection offered only temporary?
on Wayne, do you? by T. Jonathron Remp
22 Oct 2007, 10:04 PM
I gave in and went to the site...nice touch... :)
on Back to Orange and Black by winniss
22 Oct 2007, 10:00 PM
I think tingle instead of tingling would bring this straight into the momment. I like this.
on While waiting for someone to check in my cars by INTRANSIT
22 Oct 2007, 9:56 PM
beautiful - image is so clear I wish I'd seen it. I would love to see a descriptive word in there for the daughter snug/warm in denim jacket, to follow on the caring of the mother as she carries her son..know what I mean?
on My Courtney by secretlyvulnerable
22 Oct 2007, 9:50 PM
you started off so well with two verses of 3 lines, and ended with two lines of thankfullness and love. The third verse could be cut to 3 lines also keeping the original rhyme scheme...just a suggestion, you can turn a nice phrase
on Unmistakably Mistaken by secretlyvulnerable
22 Oct 2007, 9:46 PM
your last verse is creative and to the point - verse one and two are overworked a little...no need to mention tears too much, we get the crying from the second line...the last verse saves this piece, I really like it.
replying on back o' the fridge by nypoet22
19 Oct 2007, 5:48 AM
my daughter thinks your just being pretentious, and why don't you just admit it's cheese?
replying on Alice to Slumber by Skamper
19 Oct 2007, 5:43 AM
I think you got it :)
replying on Alice to Slumber by Skamper
19 Oct 2007, 5:42 AM
:)
replying on The Kissing by Skamper
19 Oct 2007, 5:33 AM
yeah - agreed...the time it takes to read is critical to the rhythm
replying on View From The Gutter by Skamper
19 Oct 2007, 5:30 AM
One of the first writes I have done - wordy - yes, for what I do now...but I can't change it...call me sentimental... :)
replying on The Finding by Skamper
19 Oct 2007, 5:18 AM
bring a bucket and spade - if we can't find the hidden depths, making sand-castles is just as fun