poemranker ::20 most recent comments by Dan garcia-Black (141-160)

Comments byDan garcia-Black, 141–160 back. Include replies

on Archivist of Emotion by Dovina 14 Oct 2004, 7:27 PM
Lose the 'but' in line 15. The object of the poem must know what's up by line 11. Why beat him down further with your but?
on Youth by thepinkbunnyofdoom 14 Oct 2004, 7:30 PM
"bunch of kids getting wasted I had a future but I misplaced it"
Great line.
on One True Instant by Dovina 17 Oct 2004, 10:57 AM
OK, so the last line could be "The sure hope of his shoulders inert." Good poem anyway.
on To Leave a Trace by Dovina 17 Oct 2004, 11:10 AM
God! I hate hopeful poems. Still, this one is OK.
on To Leave a Trace by Dovina 20 Oct 2004, 8:37 AM
You have an impressive resume and vocabulary, Johnny. I suppose that I do appear self-righteous to hypocrites. Anyway, I'm bored by all this blah, blah, blah. Write an article about another lame poet's hair follicles that will be suitable for publication in some "highly respected lit mag." I'll just continue to post here with my opinion of your unimportance and lack of integrity intact.

Dan garcia-Black
on A Lovely Cog by Dovina 20 Oct 2004, 8:42 AM
It's a riddle. Are you a librarian?
on A Better God by Dovina 22 Oct 2004, 1:57 AM
It's a riddle. You're a librarian.
on Bra in a Bar by Dovina 24 Oct 2004, 8:30 AM
I've never worn a bra. It sounds wonderful. Both the bar and the bra seem to be located in a good neighborhood.-Upscale-
on some deleted poem 25 Oct 2004, 10:08 AM
I agree with Mr.I A simple idea warmly written. I've tried to hear the music behind the lyric and keep getting caught at
"Still, there's a peace,
Felt by all who come
To stand beside the fireplace,
And somehow feel at home."
Is this the refrain or the chorus? All the other verses flow with the mekody I've assigned to it in my "mind's ear.'
on For Ike by INTRANSIT 25 Oct 2004, 10:27 AM
I liked Ike but not as much as I like your poem.
on A Man Who Cares by Dovina 26 Oct 2004, 7:34 AM
Great storytelling. Has the chain been fixed yet?
on Ending by Dovina 28 Oct 2004, 5:19 PM
What are the chances tha yours and Horus8's houses both burned down and are posted as poems on the same day? Wonder...
on Trust by Dovina 2 Nov 2004, 7:54 AM
I like the use many pronouns that make the meaning of the poem seem ambiguous at first. It took me a couple of reads to "get it." Cool.
on Beyond Love by Dovina 8 Nov 2004, 8:31 AM
Good but could be great if it weren't so hopeful.
on Grandma by Dovina 4 Nov 2004, 8:09 PM
Yeah, as one's senses dull with age, it seems that the only thing one still feels strongly as it did in youth is pain. Pain changes from "growing pains" to "growing older pains."
on Fair Dianne by Dovina 5 Nov 2004, 11:54 PM
I heard someone say this once tonight already but I think it bears repeating. "It seems a tad short. Any chance you might stretch it a bit?"
on Jesus by Dovina 12 Nov 2004, 8:05 AM
This poem is about Bush's Jesus not Tony Blair's or yours. Right?
on Guinness by Dovina 25 Nov 2004, 5:37 PM
This sounds like an accurately kept transcript of the night. The last stanza could be the first and nothing would be lost.
on some deleted poem 25 Nov 2004, 5:53 PM
Both well done and rare at the same time. Excellent.
on The Rockets’ Song by Dovina 6 Dec 2004, 9:03 AM
Are rockets are a phallic symbol in the title?
...for war is life to us,
-not death—(Is this death necessary?}.
Yep,war is romantic until it touches you with stray bit o' metal. -9- Ask Michael Moore for the extra point to make it a ten.