on One Night Stand by Audaciouslilgrl
13 Jun 2003, 9:00 AM
eliminate redundancy from title to last line. get rid of "farce" it sounds too much like fart. Otherwise, a poems go, it is ordinary. what can you do to make it more unique?
on my cat by itchiwitch
12 Jun 2003, 5:19 AM
nicely done.
on American haiku by horus8
12 Jun 2003, 5:19 AM
3
5
4
5
4
on Drinker's Haikus 2a and 2b by cacophony
12 Jun 2003, 5:18 AM
isn't Olde English a leather treatment or furniture polish?
on Grandma by waltfreakinwhitman
12 Jun 2003, 5:17 AM
give a whole now meaning to "deep impact"
on Empty by KatieKaBoom
12 Jun 2003, 5:14 AM
7
7
5
?
7
5
?
on <Haiku> by Entelechist
12 Jun 2003, 5:14 AM
search for something more palpable and less ordinary.
on Worst Haiku Ever by maffy
12 Jun 2003, 5:13 AM
4
7
8
7
8
on Hefty Smurf by Bachus
12 Jun 2003, 5:12 AM
another good smurf haiku, but the punctuation should go away.
replying on Layne Staley's Sunglasses by Jeremi B. Handrinos
12 Jun 2003, 5:11 AM
ABSOLUTELY. bravo. Huge difference that adds to the impact of the poem.
P.S. I apologize about my comments being fraught with typographical errors.
P.S. I apologize about my comments being fraught with typographical errors.
on Ga-go, Part two of that same play, the suspensefull climax. by Jeremi B. Handrinos
12 Jun 2003, 5:09 AM
I think you should've posted this to playranker.com instead.
on Jellybean Land by JoyLuck
12 Jun 2003, 5:07 AM
How very hairy potter.
on Fate Sucks by Kitch
12 Jun 2003, 5:05 AM
tends to ramble.
on Goddess of the vineyard by INTRANSIT
11 Jun 2003, 4:22 PM
powerful. lovely. grapey.
on moment in time by calilegzzz
11 Jun 2003, 4:20 PM
a few typos, trite and stolid. I'm sure it was nice for you at the time.
on Jackanapes and smoke buttons by Bachus
11 Jun 2003, 4:15 PM
Powerful and succinct. Nicely done. deserves a 10.
on SETTLE (as seen walking away) by Shardik
11 Jun 2003, 4:09 PM
Glad I bought the double roll of toilet paper.
replying on The rock star and the ATM by Shardik
11 Jun 2003, 4:08 PM
still off on syllables, but who's counting?
replying on The rock star and the ATM by Shardik
11 Jun 2003, 4:07 PM
definitely better. 10 for you.
Don't kill yourself.
That'd be stupid,
just too stupid
However, consider revisions that are more creative ways to kill yourself. be specific, like tying a plastic bag over your head and handcuffing yourself to a tree. They'll all think you were murdered. wouldn't that be fun?