replying on The Sidekick Retires From Fairview's Finest by luzrheroguy
19 Mar 2005, 11:54 PM
Yeah, I just thought I'd let you know that luzrheroguy is my user name as well. I'm mainly leaving myself the breadcrumbs of copyrighted intellectual property for my super hero satire of sorts.
<3 Jason
<3 Jason
replying on Sophia, Lets get this over with by thepinkbunnyofdoom
19 Mar 2005, 7:55 PM
Its written from the perspective of one of the character's in one of the short stories I'm writing. Glad you liked it.
<3 Jason
<3 Jason
on WHY DAD?WHY? by RION12
19 Mar 2005, 7:44 PM
I'm normally all about the emotional poems, but honestly? If this was pimple I might have cut you enough slack to give this a 5. As is, a 2. All you've done is bitch at someone whom I seriously doubt will read this. The rest of us, don't need to see this.
replying on pihsdneirf ruo fo dne eht(The Burn) by thepinkbunnyofdoom
19 Mar 2005, 7:36 PM
lol, don't worry about that. Click the best Tab sometime.
on No wonder I can't sleep when you are gone, but still here. by Haleyj
19 Mar 2005, 7:31 PM
Few typos, this is more "pimple" than "freeverse", and inside/mind. -6-
on Zin/Enough/Things/Squeeze/Flow by gregsamsa222
19 Mar 2005, 8:18 AM
As I'm sure you've been told, this is god aweful long.
Each of these poems are great. I love the images and the way that you have painted with the canvas of my heart.
If these poems wouldn't all have had worked together, exactly the way they do, my vote would have been a 5(one for each poem here), just for being so long. But as is, 10. Excellent writing.
<3 Jason
Each of these poems are great. I love the images and the way that you have painted with the canvas of my heart.
If these poems wouldn't all have had worked together, exactly the way they do, my vote would have been a 5(one for each poem here), just for being so long. But as is, 10. Excellent writing.
<3 Jason
on The Ususal Love Stuff by Dreammaker1024
19 Mar 2005, 6:19 AM
This is prose, and while wordy, you touch on good points of introspection. -7-
<3 Jason
<3 Jason
replying on JJâs Church by Dovina
17 Mar 2005, 5:24 PM
Heaven help us all...
replying on JJâs Church by Dovina
17 Mar 2005, 5:22 PM
Actually, she said "pretzels or breadsticks", which unless you count breadsticks and pretzels as the same thing. Which, unless I'm seriously more dim than even I imagined, they are not.
<3 Jason
<3 Jason
on Knowledge by the_poetess
17 Mar 2005, 3:11 PM
I know things now,
now I can't be a believer,
now I can't look at the sky without crying,
can't look at the stars without mourning the loss of my ancestors.
Lose it, and use shoes to carry you to a close as it were. You had me until that verse. Try using your words to sculpt an image that says what you mean here, without being tediously long, or losing meaning. An improvement by FAR from the last time I read on of yours. -7-. Everything else works fairly well.
<3 Jason
now I can't be a believer,
now I can't look at the sky without crying,
can't look at the stars without mourning the loss of my ancestors.
Lose it, and use shoes to carry you to a close as it were. You had me until that verse. Try using your words to sculpt an image that says what you mean here, without being tediously long, or losing meaning. An improvement by FAR from the last time I read on of yours. -7-. Everything else works fairly well.
<3 Jason
replying on JJâs Church by Dovina
17 Mar 2005, 3:00 PM
I love how you avoided the question by giving an open ended answer to a closed question. "I asked what you used as subtitutionary bread", not, what the substitutionary bread ment. lol. I have been a humble patron to both churches, and a bars.
"for perhaps the last supper.
And I, the only parishioner"
Vague, but its there. Your questioning death was the key reason I love this. It fit perfect. Some more images of perhaps, a confessional of some sort(Karoke), stained glass windows(Only think dirty or broken window), and an offering plate(Tip cup maybe), would be easily inserted, and play up the comparison a bit more.
<3 Jason
"for perhaps the last supper.
And I, the only parishioner"
Vague, but its there. Your questioning death was the key reason I love this. It fit perfect. Some more images of perhaps, a confessional of some sort(Karoke), stained glass windows(Only think dirty or broken window), and an offering plate(Tip cup maybe), would be easily inserted, and play up the comparison a bit more.
<3 Jason
on JJâs Church by Dovina
16 Mar 2005, 10:58 AM
What are you using as "substitutionary bread" in a bar? Pretzels?
Other than that(My own silly curious nature), good comparison.
Other than that(My own silly curious nature), good comparison.
replying on The Measurement by thepinkbunnyofdoom
16 Mar 2005, 10:19 AM
Think pool, and a pool shark.
replying on Girl of my Dreams??? by thepinkbunnyofdoom
12 Mar 2005, 11:18 PM
Actually this is about one of my little sister's friends hitting on me.
replying on Snow Sucks by JoyLuck
12 Mar 2005, 1:22 AM
Look close. All is alone yet together. Where as the rest of the message is broken and scattered. Accidental or no, I see the ALL, being together but alone, as artistic. The majority of the letters are scattered across the page, brought together by a mental zig zaging connection. Its individualism yet connection to the other letters, is what in my mind, is so poetic about it.
<3 Jason
<3 Jason
replying on To those that would teach poetry by INTRANSIT
11 Mar 2005, 4:13 PM
That I would make for you something, you will use to judge me later(Still refering to the poem writing). The gun itself is used as a Judgement(I.E. Grades).
Unless I misunderstand entirely.
<3 Jason
Unless I misunderstand entirely.
<3 Jason
replying on To those that would teach poetry by INTRANSIT
11 Mar 2005, 4:08 PM
Its good because of more than just that. Look carefully, its actually quite a bold and beautiful statement.
on The 8th Day by whispern_smoke_wisp
11 Mar 2005, 3:53 PM
Well they're going to kill me for revealing this but... Yes there is an 8th day. The thing is, its not a day with a night, and nice round even numbers. Haven't you ever noticed the extra hours that just seem to have slipped themselves between minutes. Those are the 8th day.
<3 Jason
<3 Jason
on an unbiased voice (or the most biased one you'll hear) by i_am_the_popsicle
11 Mar 2005, 3:34 PM
Nice Bias, way to go you with eveness and balance. Now, do us all a favor, and add a few more points to your overall score by proof reading before you post. I didn't catch any spelling errors, but a crapload of inproper tense, and other bits that I had to decipher the lay of the text before they made sense. They really hurt this.
<3 Jason -7-
<3 Jason -7-
<3 Jason