i think that coming right out with cognizance of your disorder ruins the surprise, lee.

it's quite entertaining, the 'or so they say' refrain. but the opening needs work. imo.

rockmage--nice images here. my one critque would be the rat-a-tat-tat rhymtmic structure. weave it. put the chisels, rasps, and saws away ,and get yourself a loom.

you've got some fine wool to warp, here.

01110111011001010110110001101100001000000110001001110101011100110111010000100000011011010111100100100000011000110110111101100100011001010010000100001101000010100000110100001010011101100110010101110010011110010010000001100011011011110110111101101100001000000110100101100100011001010110000100101100001000000110110101110010001011100010100000111111001010010010000001100010011101010111001101101001011011100110010101110011011100110010110101110100011100100110000101110110011001010110110001101100011001010111001000101110

you forgot to smite the unworthy.
boo. hiss.

i like this a lot, rockmage.

very vivid, very fresh image construction. (e.g., "And still a practicing Nomad,", "And could only see your mother’s red glow./Here is where you could see separately.”"

and it has a nice sense of humor, too.


swank.

keep on rankin'.

the poor hard-working sphincter gets no credit, as usual.

shame! shame on you, mrpresident!

filter the water to let us breathe.

hmm.

not sure i buy that part of it.

"Lo, had the blankest of cold stares"

huh?

lo--how are you using this?
it generally means 'look at that' or 'over there, look!'

also, use a comma or a colon instead of ellipsis, and fix the apostrophe: Ireland's

"Friendly on tap
just for a little while."


not sure this works where you have it

also, typo:
She works wothout seam!!

smooth it out, rich. it's got po-10-shall

well, Mr. _Angel=-, (if that is your real name), I am most excruciatingly inconvenienced to read this news. I was all set to "switch teams", as as the quartz-passage-harefoot had cut me to my limpid-way-quick.

Alack, allay! Once again, you cause me dismay!

bravo!!!

where is dear katie?
have you got her in a false-closet with a non-functioning toilet? again?

you have something nice going here, but i think you need to decide whether you are addressing the audience directly, or speaking to us only in asides. If you're talking to us, lose the parentheticals, i say.

syntax can be important, you know.
amusing rhymes. but no vote.

actually, some here suck for the financial gain.

you could have subbed it under pimple, tint.

i see your reluctance to reveal this. sometimes i just have to flush the obvious out of my system. consider this the assymetry in your oeuvre.

overall pleasing in its malefic intent.

my opinions, if you will permit me to suggest a few tweaks:

spiral implies 'around', so,
'Twist a whimsied spiral down' would suffice.

also, 'The hanging of a garden abounding with allure'
is a clumsy phrase. make it leaner.

[alluring and abundant, a hanging garden...or something]

'watch we' --tricksy inversion prickles me.

'It itself did engage'--again, a little awkward

'gametic knife'--the heart of the poem, succintly captured. bravo.

good work.

1-4 rock. 5 sucks. that is all.

i don't get why this is so funny.

you have some desperate misspelling here, my friend. the one that stands out most glaringly is "the Pilot". at first, i thought you were writing a parody. but then i realized that you were referring to Pontius Pilate.

there are some good ideas in here, but your long-winded discourse loses steam before it gets barely started.

and that's when the kundalini kicks in, isn't it?
you bastard snake.