on She wishes by INTRANSIT
12 Oct 2003, 8:37 AM
I read this with pain. 8.
on some deleted poem
2 Oct 2003, 3:01 PM
cliche'd cliches tossed on to look like depth.
on some deleted poem
2 Oct 2003, 1:17 PM
entwine is one of my favorite words, but I'm sure there are other reasons I like this poem. quite fun. :)
on Why do you give yourself blue tens? by Bachus
2 Oct 2003, 2:26 PM
565
:blink:
566. funny how quickly one can read 'zero' when not paying attention.
la.
I don't like the way you use the title, but... no, I don't like it. That is all.
self-rewarding tens
do not attract green brethren
You are a zero.
:blink:
566. funny how quickly one can read 'zero' when not paying attention.
la.
I don't like the way you use the title, but... no, I don't like it. That is all.
self-rewarding tens
do not attract green brethren
You are a zero.
on some deleted poem
8 Oct 2003, 7:22 PM
yes. :)
on power by livingcanvas
8 Oct 2003, 7:49 PM
I like this; simple, but really gets a rhythm.
on Song of Spring by meror
11 Oct 2003, 4:39 PM
cute. :)
on some deleted poem
11 Oct 2003, 4:55 PM
I'm curious as to whether the gun is to be used against or in defense of the child, or something else entirely.
on the two faces of the bar social. by darby pyn
12 Oct 2003, 8:16 AM
knives 'drove' -> 'driven'?
relatively interesting piece for an 'angst' poem. couldn't quite get into the flow.
relatively interesting piece for an 'angst' poem. couldn't quite get into the flow.
on some deleted poem
12 Oct 2003, 8:20 AM
nice juxtaposition.
on 3am by Nicholas Jones
22 Oct 2003, 6:50 AM
I'm particularly fond of that ... particular time.
This is very cute.
This is very cute.
on some deleted poem
27 Oct 2003, 9:06 AM
I remember this one. I like it much, this pain. Well, of a sort. You represent it well.
Though "come to sleep" seems disjoint with the sweaty, slick passion ("come to bed" seems like it would fit the two views/times better, but perhaps that's just my own reality).
Though "come to sleep" seems disjoint with the sweaty, slick passion ("come to bed" seems like it would fit the two views/times better, but perhaps that's just my own reality).
on paint me a poem with pictures by nentwined
12 Nov 2003, 6:04 AM
:studies line 4 carefully:
thank you.
Dribble didn't throw you? ((there's movement for the b's to be replaced by z's))
thank you.
Dribble didn't throw you? ((there's movement for the b's to be replaced by z's))
on Holding on for Jesus by Everyone
11 Dec 2003, 7:47 AM
For sarcasm, this is pretty fun.
on Sonnet Eighteen by devilishnutcase
7 Jan 2004, 12:39 AM
what crack _are_ you smoking? or whose?
on Don't Care by LuV_jOhNnY
6 Jan 2004, 4:58 PM
Catchy, yet says nothing. I can't say I like it.
on Fuck by devilishnutcase
6 Jan 2004, 10:46 PM
certainly a lot of fuck. repetition is annoying, forced rhymes hurt, painfully cliched, couldn't find any sort of flow or rhythm... this should be 'pimple poem' instead of 'free verse'.
fuck?
fuck?
on Woman in the purple cotton jacket(repaired) by INTRANSIT
6 Mar 2004, 11:41 AM
Odd. The conversation makes a bit more sense of it. But odd. I think I want more about the elderly couple, their interaction with her (if they were there with her, or if they just were all sitting at the same table). How old is she?
Hmm.
Hmm.
on some deleted poem
8 Apr 2004, 3:54 PM
the first stanza is cute; the second a bit awkward. the third more awkward. and the fourth, more awkward than that, for me, and I'm afraid I don't understand what's supposed to be going on, or what the message is. :/