on some deleted poem
11 Oct 2002, 8:10 AM
I'm afraid we do only allow posting of your own stuff, as best as we can restrict such.
on No recalculations needed by Bachus
13 Nov 2002, 1:15 PM
I actually like this. the last stanza seems a bit out of the blue, but all together it's nice.
on Music That Cannot Exist by Fetylum
16 Dec 2002, 10:36 AM
this is definitely strange, and makes me want to add a "comments from the author" section so folks can get what you're trying to say and give better feedback.
I really like the "plot" of this piece, and I like the device of interpersing dialog. Some of the images are a bit obscure for me to get, though it can be argued that that's a desirable thing.
I really like the "plot" of this piece, and I like the device of interpersing dialog. Some of the images are a bit obscure for me to get, though it can be argued that that's a desirable thing.
on some deleted poem
25 Nov 2002, 10:45 PM
I didn't even notice this was a haiku on first read. Very nice. :)
on I Respect Your Feelings As A Woman And A Human by -=SeTTle=-
12 Nov 2002, 9:06 AM
on some deleted poem
12 Nov 2002, 2:47 PM
quite beautiful. I would have gone somewhere less pleasant with the beginning, but your journey was a welcome one. [and I don't think anyone's ever sent me a poem from poemranker before! thanks! =) ]
on My Woman, My Lover, My Friend by -=SeTTle=-
12 Nov 2002, 8:53 AM
on some deleted poem
11 Oct 2002, 8:11 AM
(as in, please delete this or I'll flag it as plagiarised...)
on Losing Control by Tarquin De La Bog
9 Oct 2002, 9:12 PM
"has now gone" and "before too long" scan better without the "now" or "too".
I think instead of "they'll be no more fighting" "there'll [...]"?
I think "try and sue" would work better as "try to sue" -- more proper and as such fitting the tone of the teacher, even if you're trying to let (him?) degenerate. All in all, a beautiful piece. :)
I think instead of "they'll be no more fighting" "there'll [...]"?
I think "try and sue" would work better as "try to sue" -- more proper and as such fitting the tone of the teacher, even if you're trying to let (him?) degenerate. All in all, a beautiful piece. :)
on The day I told her by dalva
7 Oct 2002, 12:31 AM
this reads purely as prose, and is rather cliche.
on Cheap Thrills by Owner of the Sky
1 Oct 2002, 5:12 AM
this comes across a little too simply for my tastes. i see where pnk's complaining about the show-don't tell.
However, I wouldn't be surprised if that's the intent, making a cheap thrill out of this poem entitled cheap thrill about a cheap thrill.
Which would elevate it some -- a really good cheap thrill.
However, I wouldn't be surprised if that's the intent, making a cheap thrill out of this poem entitled cheap thrill about a cheap thrill.
Which would elevate it some -- a really good cheap thrill.
on some deleted poem
30 Sep 2002, 3:44 PM
good and simple, but I have to agree with half the folks so far that I want it built up into something more.
on some deleted poem
30 Sep 2002, 3:47 PM
the flow in the last bit is a bit awkward (might drop "in" from health and slur "aware'f"...) and the bee thing throws me, though reading the comments it makes sense. I also don't really get what the "fish" theme is trying to signify.
on some deleted poem
30 Sep 2002, 3:48 PM
too jerky for my tastes? I am unschooled in these things. :(
on some deleted poem
30 Sep 2002, 3:51 PM
:hehehe: cute. :)
on The Sea by Tarquin De La Bog
30 Sep 2002, 3:55 PM
The c is sharp
and for that we must thank
microsoft.
I am NOT A NUMBER! I am a... uh...
and for that we must thank
microsoft.
I am NOT A NUMBER! I am a... uh...
on Living Conditions by Christof
25 Oct 2002, 2:44 PM
very nice. :)
on some deleted poem
30 Sep 2002, 5:02 PM
I can't get into this. feels more like a grocery list than a poem. (yes, I'm sure a grocery list could be turned into a flowing poem, but..)
...
and I'm afraid I don't get it.