Calypso and apogee? Hmm.

Order.. and disorder--makes me miss an old techno album lost to age.

too abstract for me?

I like how this runs, but the obscurity reads like too much randomness to me. Nothing against randomness, but I need chaotic randomness, where there's a pattern if I can discern it ((and maybe I'm just not good at discerning)).

Imititation Jam, Kennelling Lobsters?

Hmm. Ah, VDs?

Great for Valentine's, yes?

Cute, much cuter than the blatancy of it belies... but not enough for me, still, to care. Too much reliance on shock value, I think...?

The bear took out my knee! Damn, I'm going to have to be more careful with what I watch.

This has something, maybe, but it's too compact for me to get it and feel what I've gotten; I think it needs a little more flesh--but that's definitely no guarantee.

eh. convoluted language just for the sake of sounding poetic?

it's a moment, but the moment has no context that makes me care.

Hey, this takes clever and runs with it for a bit. I'd drop the self-referential (and so therefore also write), since it's not about that _so_ much.

ICO pen?

I'm missing a bit, but I like the self-abuse. :)

This is actually clever. The thing I'm missing is it flowing. Sad but I think it needs a poet's touch, or maybe just an editor's. "I argue ... work" doesn't move things along as much as the rest, I think.

Passable? Almost.

Not reading the whole thing, but caught something that might be a good hook; "Imagine -- saying it, meaning it" ((no need to repeat the title, we know, we know the reference))

Run from there.

I like "I joined a party to fight for socialism
but found ideology was out of fashion
and we’re all in the centre ground now." Tell me more?

I think you're all over the place on this, and I'm not feeling any of it, except the odd scrap.

"I remember the tiny details of the place" is a decent hook (as in, start there), but you need to follow with actual details, or contrast it with something that tells the lie.

You've told me something, vague, and I don't believe you. An extra point for Starbucks, vile corporation that they may be, because I've always wanted to watch Battlestar Galactica, and I could use some coffee.

ending, now--that's the end of the poem, there. you've told us too much, and we don't care. Start elsewhere, make us feel things are ending. yeah, way too much tell throughout.

Start at "Fuck", and you've got something better. Well, until you get to "So we moved on".

still, you might have something here, in the back of your head, to convey. Just not conveyed in the poem.

Is it the extremities or intremities you're seeking with this poem? ((hey, you complained you hadn't gotten insults, right?))

The blankness of his masturbation--fine, but why record it?

Though I do sympathise with the feeling (am I leaving myself too open, here?) - this poem does not epitomize them in any good way.

The second stanza's better than the first, but still uninteresting. Tell me something in a novel way (and I don't mean prose, and I don't mean rot13...) slip me the suggestion, the meaning, without my realising what you've said until I'm looking at the blade in my heart.

I second the howl's bow'ls.

Somewhat interesting, but not enough, and the flow, well, yeah.

You call this happy? I was ready to berate fluffy bunnies...

Wow. That really hurts. Well done?

test