on DIDN'T I SAY by massangel62
19 Feb 2007, 3:51 PM
Maybe you have different definitions of love. It's a sentiment, but doesn't do so well as a poem.
on Plurals by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
16 Feb 2007, 11:31 AM
I'll take a Guiness, you pig!
Cute. But doesn't do it for me.
Minus a point for not having "fish" as per rockmage.
Extra point for the word "Gortices".
Cute. But doesn't do it for me.
Minus a point for not having "fish" as per rockmage.
Extra point for the word "Gortices".
The wielding everything, the timing of it seemed to imply to me it was all done at once. Maybe I needed to see the action happening to separate it out.
After that, yeah, I was all over the place with the poem--couldn't focus. Maybe work the earlier bits in, throughout, and be a little less circumspect?
I really don't know.
After that, yeah, I was all over the place with the poem--couldn't focus. Maybe work the earlier bits in, throughout, and be a little less circumspect?
I really don't know.
replying on a self-conscious lack of denial by nentwined
16 Feb 2007, 10:56 AM
A couple (bottles?) and I'd probably be blacked out.
This was just about 6 oz of Pyrat rum.
This was just about 6 oz of Pyrat rum.
replying on a self-conscious lack of denial by nentwined
15 Feb 2007, 9:39 PM
I only tried Southern Comfort once... it was too sickeningly sweet for me, then, and never had the urge to try it again.
replying on sad moments by rbooey
15 Feb 2007, 7:07 PM
Well said. :)
on sad moments by rbooey
15 Feb 2007, 7:07 PM
There is no happiness.
on JUST A FEW by rbooey
15 Feb 2007, 7:05 PM
If you actually mean any of this, know that it is a very poor tribute. Which is not to be ashamed of--probably most tributes are poor. But if you do actually mean any of it, consider trying to improve it--or just move on.
on JUST A FEW by rbooey
15 Feb 2007, 7:05 PM
ouch.
replying on my hunger has become a hunger for revenge by nentwined
15 Feb 2007, 6:57 PM
I'm open to some cleaning up, but I sure do like my semicolons and my appositives and my parentheticals. :)
replying on my hunger has become a hunger for revenge by nentwined
15 Feb 2007, 6:56 PM
It was supposed to be bad.
But yeah, it was supposed to be bad in a likeable way.
My bad?
But yeah, it was supposed to be bad in a likeable way.
My bad?
replying on self-suffocation by Phalkon
15 Feb 2007, 6:55 PM
props to that.
replying on a days journey by donmiguel1960
15 Feb 2007, 6:52 PM
Gotcha==a typo, only worse.
on a days journey by donmiguel1960
15 Feb 2007, 6:51 PM
ow. not a good ow.
I sympathise, but only because, er, I do get where you're coming from. But not from the art of this poem.
I sympathise, but only because, er, I do get where you're coming from. But not from the art of this poem.
on Ode to a Pimple-Lyric Spawned by Phalkon's Greasy Face. by SupremeDreamer
15 Feb 2007, 6:50 PM
hm. Do I need to make a new feature "poems inspired by this poem" sort of thing?
nothing in and of itself, and I don't know Phalkon yet, so...
nothing in and of itself, and I don't know Phalkon yet, so...
on Celui by half.italian
15 Feb 2007, 6:48 PM
the last two lines are the redeeming glory, and the rest does well for being put so plainly, but... the thought's only so much.
on The Medium of Dunce by Ranger
15 Feb 2007, 6:41 PM
Hmm. Interesting, maybe something clever, but both over and under told...
those would have to be big hands -- a shovel, a pick, and a wheelbarrow? We're talking Paul Bunyan, here. I apologize for his tiny member, though--we didn't do enough testing on those pesticides.
General impression--not interested, really. A curious idea, but I'm not buying. More context, maybe?
General impression--not interested, really. A curious idea, but I'm not buying. More context, maybe?
on The Ballad of Rakesh Rajani, Court Reporter by Rakesh Rajani
15 Feb 2007, 6:35 PM
wow.
ouch.
ouch.
Your love sounds awfully post-apocalyptic.