replying on this is your poetry by nentwined
23 Sep 2003, 7:23 AM
Hmm. I can't follow through the contradiction of people on poemranker following instructions. ;) Though perhaps it would become something worse. I'm not very good at such prognostication. And I think I'm too tired to be talking, as these big words are just falling out at random. Off to work...
replying on One Moment to the Other (v3) by nentwined
23 Sep 2003, 7:21 AM
can you believe the paucity of rhymes for memory? I tried and I tried and I tried and that's all I could think of. Then I found a rhyming dictionary and that's all *it* could think of, also. (mostly--it made up a few words, too).
thanks for the feedback. I will not give up. ;) :)
thanks for the feedback. I will not give up. ;) :)
replying on this is your poetry by nentwined
22 Sep 2003, 10:40 PM
youshu? :)
replying on this is your poetry by nentwined
22 Sep 2003, 8:23 PM
I'm not so advanced yet. But I shall work on it. :)
Often my attempts at (image rich) straight-forwardness become such stretched contrivances that they carry nothing. Any attempt at hidden gems would unceremoniously collapse such a makeshift structure.
Hmm. There should be a poem in that. ;)
Often my attempts at (image rich) straight-forwardness become such stretched contrivances that they carry nothing. Any attempt at hidden gems would unceremoniously collapse such a makeshift structure.
Hmm. There should be a poem in that. ;)
replying on this is your poetry by nentwined
22 Sep 2003, 7:05 PM
my first acrostic. :)
"and live in fear all the while" has stresses in the wrong places. "gotta learn to defend" is missing a syllable. and same with "all your junk 'til the end"--but that you can just make "until" and it's good to go. (btw, till is used in "to till a field"), the one you're wanting is the shortened form of "until". the apostrophe replaces the "un", and there's no need to add an l.
beyond that... nice, simple poem; with rhythm tweaks, I think this would be solid, and in any case is good to get out of the system. :)
beyond that... nice, simple poem; with rhythm tweaks, I think this would be solid, and in any case is good to get out of the system. :)
on under my skin by bitter
22 Sep 2003, 6:14 PM
I think this could make a very interesting painting; you definitely got enough imagery there. I stumble for cadence on the second line.
If I had a 'personal favorites' section implemented, this would be added to it just for the picture I'm seeing. On the off chance that I'd try to paint it someday. meanwhile, I'll just make a note to myself on skwerms.org. :) 7, still, for its slight awkwardness, and I don't see it going over an 8, for content. odd, that.
If I had a 'personal favorites' section implemented, this would be added to it just for the picture I'm seeing. On the off chance that I'd try to paint it someday. meanwhile, I'll just make a note to myself on skwerms.org. :) 7, still, for its slight awkwardness, and I don't see it going over an 8, for content. odd, that.
on by jessicazee
22 Sep 2003, 6:11 PM
:snaps fingers:
replying on killer boredom butterfly (psychedelic) by nentwined
22 Sep 2003, 5:57 PM
You pull out a PLUM!! (I hope that's a plum. Tell me you didn't put them in your bum?)
on nentwined gets nasty by Johnnie Baptiste
19 Sep 2003, 9:23 AM
wyrd to yo mudda.
replying on Strung Out On Sunlight by J.B. Manning
18 Sep 2003, 11:17 AM
that was meant to be "couldn't", saying lack of a flow may have been created by sleep dep.
hmm. meth makes it make a lot more sense. odd, that.
hmm. meth makes it make a lot more sense. odd, that.
on A Haiku Haiku by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
18 Sep 2003, 10:43 AM
very interesting form. it took me a few to get what you'd done. actually, a few more than that, really. almost a minute or two of unrelated thoughts until it popped in (oh).
as for the content. cute, mostly amusing. 8 for ingenuity and the mostly amusing.
as for the content. cute, mostly amusing. 8 for ingenuity and the mostly amusing.
on on the edge of creation by nentwined
18 Sep 2003, 7:40 AM
as a note, this is part of a "poem a day for 100 days" challenge. so if it's particularly lacking, that could be why. I'm posting the (probably 1/10 as things draw on) few that I think might have a chance at redemption.
replying on on the edge of creation by nentwined
18 Sep 2003, 7:38 AM
thank you. I'm a big fond or parentheticals, and the /'s were "borrowed" from monsiour DeLacroix (they were bright and shiny and I could not resist!)
replying on reflexion - dayspring to dusk by DreamerSupreme
17 Sep 2003, 6:26 PM
If your niece can understand the personification of 'dreamer', you should be proud.
on reflexion - dayspring to dusk by DreamerSupreme
17 Sep 2003, 6:24 PM
pullulating?
has a good tone/rhtyhm/feel. 8.
has a good tone/rhtyhm/feel. 8.
on lament and retrograde by Don-Quixote
17 Sep 2003, 6:22 PM
I like 'too proud to scrawl' (as elsewhere read), though then the wheelchair might need something to replace it.
interesting, though. :) 7.
interesting, though. :) 7.