on Cashmere by Tekara
19 Mar 2002, 2:18 PM
the first bit reminds me of metallica; I get the impression, by the end of the poem, that you were sick of either writing or revising it. The further along it gets, the choppier it is. And I don't get the business with fame/history/society.
on Lachrymalia by Lain
19 Mar 2002, 2:06 PM
just had to reiterate that I love the flow of this poem -- very lyric, I can see it working for slow and sweet to hard and heavy, or just about anything inbetween (other than 80's silliness, I think).
on brown is the eat feminine deoderant gross and stuff mmm styrofoam right? by skaskowski
19 Mar 2002, 12:32 PM
this is just kinda lame. not sure what you were trying for, but I'd guess you were trying for lame. so with that, kudos, but...?
on My Sun by T. Becquerel
17 Mar 2002, 2:33 PM
I'm not quite sure I get this. You're personifying the action of fusion?
on -untitled- by althea7
16 Mar 2002, 1:21 AM
climacteric works perfectly syllabically, but I don't recognize it as a word other than as a derivative of climactic, which throws off a bit; (and your my pill should be you're my pill). very nice, though. =)
on Have you ever heard of William Carlost Williams 24 by notule
16 Mar 2002, 1:21 AM
hmmmmmmmmmmmm. I like the respelled phonetics. I don't really get the poem. Color me stupid.
on Impatience always backfires 913 by notule
16 Mar 2002, 1:21 AM
are these really tonkas? the rhythms seem off. On a modem temporarily which is making me reluctant to look things up. :) I like more flow in the stuff I read, don't really understand what you're doing. Agree with hat you're saying here, at least.
on fashion sense by crin
16 Mar 2002, 1:21 AM
second line jumps the rhythm on a rocky path which isn't picked up elsewhere, or rather -- I spent most of the poem trying to find the groove and not getting one. I like the sentiments of the poem greatly. :)
on skeletons by tat2dangel
16 Mar 2002, 1:21 AM
the last lines stumbles for me. maybe if you lead into it after cried with "..." and put a comma after "out for you"? I like "made a mess on the bathroom floor". I'm not too into the disease metaphor at the beginning, and ... "the victor is the one who reigns", as a tautology, sesms a bit out of place.
on pull by skaskowski
16 Mar 2002, 1:21 AM
the copying seems a bit forced... maybe you could play with it alittle more? Maybe I should go to sleep. My comments are becoming less than useful. :)
on My Tongue ..... and God by BadPoet
16 Mar 2002, 1:21 AM
=) Whoohoo bad poetry! ;)
on How Strange by T. Becquerel
16 Mar 2002, 1:21 AM
huh. innnnnnnnnnnnteresting.
on High Speed College Life by Modulo
16 Mar 2002, 1:21 AM
amen, brother, a-fuckin-men.
on Fascination by ObiWonKn
16 Mar 2002, 1:21 AM
reminds me of a scene in The World According to Garp, sorta. :)
on Dancing with the Dandelions by Piano
16 Mar 2002, 1:21 AM
the last line seems offrhythm, but I like the rest a lot.
on Colloid by skaskowski
16 Mar 2002, 1:21 AM
this is hilarious :)