replying on A List of Names Worth Listing by SupremeDreamer
30 Jul 2008, 7:11 AM
You know, it'd be nice if you, like, you know, commented and/or voted on some of my recent postings. I don't care even if it's a zero and a message that says "You suck donkey dick.". That atleast would beat the feeling that my almighty crap is not even being read.... FUCK DOOD, I'M NOT EVEN SURE OR HAVE A MERE INCLING IF IT IS INDEED CRAP, THERE ISN'T ANY OBJECTIVE OPINIONS ON THE MATTER!!! Cmon, throw me something that confirms that I'm alive or atleast I'm an acknowledged zombie.
on Soulless Circle by Tyler J. Mancini
30 Jul 2008, 7:03 AM
So anyway TJTwin, heres your seven. Oh, and your shutup list had the opposite effect... and it wasn't even funny.
on Blood Plush by Kamikaze
29 Jul 2008, 6:10 PM
Ok, now when you did barney and dora, the rhyme scheme wasn't an issue. But here? Here it's quite obviouse that the poem unfolded as it did because you stubbornly held to the rhyme. That and it's length made it a bit a chore to get to the end, even though it too had some pretty funny elements. You know, some powerful stuff can be forged when you loosen up and let a poem flow in a natural way, one that follows the human mind and not A B A B A B A B A B A B....
Your poem got owned by the strict, repetetive, hypnotic rhyme scheme. I felt sleepy, but could not pass out because the simplistic rhymes irritated me.
Try a hand at free verse, or even prose poetry. That, or do something worthwhile with rhyming form, like a villanelle. Also, the limerick is perfect for making a funny poem... its short, clever, has a rhyme structure, and if done correctly will make everyone giggle. Look up some of dark angels classics, he's done a lot with the limerick form.
You get what I'm saying dood? Fucking branch out.
Five. I'm being nice too, because I really wanted to say four.
Your poem got owned by the strict, repetetive, hypnotic rhyme scheme. I felt sleepy, but could not pass out because the simplistic rhymes irritated me.
Try a hand at free verse, or even prose poetry. That, or do something worthwhile with rhyming form, like a villanelle. Also, the limerick is perfect for making a funny poem... its short, clever, has a rhyme structure, and if done correctly will make everyone giggle. Look up some of dark angels classics, he's done a lot with the limerick form.
You get what I'm saying dood? Fucking branch out.
Five. I'm being nice too, because I really wanted to say four.
on Cinematic Indulgence by nentwined
29 Jul 2008, 5:47 PM
Ah... it's good to read something that stirrs the beast. Nine again.
on Magazine Promotion by nentwined
29 Jul 2008, 5:45 PM
Don't worry. I understood the analogies of greek mythology. Nine.
on Almost Alone by sliver
29 Jul 2008, 5:42 PM
sliver, you know you have this bad habit of calling something a lyric when it isnt? Tell me, how the fuck would you sing this as a song? ITS OK TO ADMIT IT FOR WHAT IT IS MAN!!!! FUCKING FREE VERSE!
Ok... Just had to get that out of the way. That aside, there's some cliche like elements here that tell me the piece could be better with a revision. It's not horrible, I liked the essence of it. I want to say seven, but I can't... it is found wanting. Six.
Ok... Just had to get that out of the way. That aside, there's some cliche like elements here that tell me the piece could be better with a revision. It's not horrible, I liked the essence of it. I want to say seven, but I can't... it is found wanting. Six.
on Ashes Of Me by Tyler J. Mancini
29 Jul 2008, 5:37 PM
"You were once been mine."
No... no.
'You had once been mine."
Now if we could just make something worth reading out of this idea of ashes? Something that doesn't make me think an eleven year old girl wrote it.
Ashes, ashes, and we all fall
DOWN!
Two. And that's only because there's something that can be done with the concept, but nothing can fix the failure of execution.
No... no.
'You had once been mine."
Now if we could just make something worth reading out of this idea of ashes? Something that doesn't make me think an eleven year old girl wrote it.
Ashes, ashes, and we all fall
DOWN!
Two. And that's only because there's something that can be done with the concept, but nothing can fix the failure of execution.
on What you wana hang out later? by T. Jonathron Remp
29 Jul 2008, 5:33 PM
Um. Why did you think I wanted to read about your silly failed attempt at loving? You know why she left? It wasn't your loving-- It was your obsessin.
Zero.
Zero.
on S.O.S. by amanda_dcosta
29 Jul 2008, 5:31 PM
Madam, the ranker has fallen off the golden path and into the dismal gutter. None of my friends speak, my mentor left long ago, and even my goddamn enemies are no longer here to keep me company. What is a savage ex-jester to do without his fuel, his purpose, his support or mean inspiration to keep on just for the sake of keepin on just to say that: Fuck you, I'm still here? As I said earlier, the mere act of not acting is more fatal than fist blows to the face and testicles.
No Vote.
No Vote.
on Today is another day by Prince of Void
29 Jul 2008, 5:26 PM
thorough the reflection of toilet mirror--
....? through? hmmm? You know, if your going to be depressive and write a poem about it for worthless bastards like me to read, could you do me a favor?
Could you atleast make it interesting? Please? And original? Without the befuddled flow and the gutted speech? Or the cliches like "I used to think the world was too (so) big?
I have these thoughts too. But, see, I've learned that such thoughts written and shared doesn't amount to poetry-- it only gives proof to everyone that you didn't have something worth writing about.
Five.
....? through? hmmm? You know, if your going to be depressive and write a poem about it for worthless bastards like me to read, could you do me a favor?
Could you atleast make it interesting? Please? And original? Without the befuddled flow and the gutted speech? Or the cliches like "I used to think the world was too (so) big?
I have these thoughts too. But, see, I've learned that such thoughts written and shared doesn't amount to poetry-- it only gives proof to everyone that you didn't have something worth writing about.
Five.
on Soulless Circle by Tyler J. Mancini
29 Jul 2008, 5:18 PM
Actually, no. It's not quite a haiku YET...
575.
What we have here is 565. Add another syllable to the middle of this, and my six would become a seven.
575.
What we have here is 565. Add another syllable to the middle of this, and my six would become a seven.
on Someone took... by Tyler J. Mancini
29 Jul 2008, 5:13 PM
Um... the ending is the only thing I liked. It was a good ending, the last three stanzas... if you could call those stanzas.
Four.
Four.
on too much too soon by JMakStak
29 Jul 2008, 5:11 PM
Tell me about it.
on If you want? by FreeFormFixation
29 Jul 2008, 5:10 PM
Ok, well my only real issue is that... this isn't a lyric. I've heard nor seen a thirty second song.
Seven.
Seven.
on ayow by skaskowski
29 Jul 2008, 5:07 PM
Shootin craps? Gambling addiction? Hmmm.
replying on The Comedy of Mighty Rockmage: Combatting Old Age. by Don-Quixote
27 Nov 2006, 10:02 AM
Don't trample my dreams ;(
replying on Vote Goats by ALChemy
6 Jun 2005, 2:11 AM
What about those who insult you and then offer some constructive input? ;P
replying on The Comedy of Mighty Rockmage: Combatting Old Age. by Don-Quixote
6 Jun 2005, 1:50 AM
He also zero bombed two of my five profiles in retaliation for this piece. He's also done this before, voted for himself, repeatedly, among other things. And yes, it is easy, and for me, extremely amusing.
His methodes are petty. I could give him a minute amount of respect if he had the wit and ability to make a parody of a poem I wrote in reaction, or simply a piece belittling me. But instead, he apparently is only skilled enough to click his over-fingered mouse. His index finger has most definitely developed a thick callus, his mind though remains puddy soft.
Speaking of causing a buzz, dope gives me a better high. This is like... premature ejaculation during masturbation-- amusing but ultimately disappointing. ;]
His methodes are petty. I could give him a minute amount of respect if he had the wit and ability to make a parody of a poem I wrote in reaction, or simply a piece belittling me. But instead, he apparently is only skilled enough to click his over-fingered mouse. His index finger has most definitely developed a thick callus, his mind though remains puddy soft.
Speaking of causing a buzz, dope gives me a better high. This is like... premature ejaculation during masturbation-- amusing but ultimately disappointing. ;]
replying on The Comedy of Mighty Rockmage: Combatting Old Age. by Don-Quixote
6 Jun 2005, 1:35 AM
You have to admit though, mines funnier. And about being a hypocrite? I'm guilty. Cept I never zero bombed anyones entire profile, and never voted for myself, never. That said, I still retain that small amount of dignity, and honor a few principles.
Everything else is game, and this dance gets bloody baby. >EG<
Everything else is game, and this dance gets bloody baby. >EG<