on A Little Life by Tom Colebrooke
18 Nov 2002, 10:37 AM
Hey, we all need something a little light weight once in a while. Amusing, one for the kids .8.
on Putney at Low Tide by Christof
10 Sep 2002, 2:39 PM
"Beshitten". Someone contact the Oxford new words dept:) Outstanding imagery. 9.
on some deleted poem
16 Nov 2002, 1:50 AM
Saccharine.
on Frozen beauty by INTRANSIT
18 Nov 2002, 10:26 AM
You might not have known what an acrostic was ;), but you know how to write a great haiku .9.
on Worth the wait by INTRANSIT
18 Nov 2002, 10:32 AM
Simple words, simple scenario, simply nice. 8.
on I wish.......... by little_angel_maria
18 Nov 2002, 10:41 AM
"Cealous of my looks" (sic). That is one conceited line, generally poor.2.
on confused by little_angel_maria
16 Nov 2002, 1:54 AM
This is simply hilarious. Please, someone tell me this is a pastiche. I'm not voting 'till I hear. It's a 0 or a 10. It's the ultimate!
on lovely by pink_punk_kisses87
17 Sep 2002, 10:52 AM
The phrase "limp hair" made me feel slightly nauseous. It has to be said that this is an improvement on your last offering. I'll keep an eye out for your next.3.
on winter every day (Don't bother reading this) by unknown
13 Sep 2002, 2:56 PM
Paints a picture, but treads that fine line between poetry and prose. Then again who's to say.7.
on America the Beautiful? by pink_punk_kisses87
13 Sep 2002, 3:03 PM
(sings) ..and the home of the...brave.! Another American outpouring, why do you lot feel so guilty? First stanza hopelessly cliched "a mother cries over a lost son" etc. Find something to be proud of and try to stop whining.2.
It doesn't take long to realise there are only a handful of people posting anything rewarding here. You are on my list. Is there very slight assonance between "seawall" and "summer storm"? Very subtle. "Tide,rides,sky" I'm a sucker for rhyme. "Furious with my own leaking" jars slightly, would appreciate explanation of this line.9.
on Hard Times by beakism
13 Sep 2002, 3:09 PM
Is that a "Christ on a bike" reference? Amusing.7.
on Life's Great Irony by Tascobar
12 Sep 2002, 2:42 PM
Call me a stick in the mud. Maybe if it was well writen I could forgive it's crassness. But it's not, it's just extremely childish. This is the last time I'll bother commenting on one of the many pieces of "litter" on this site. I am wasting my time. No vote.
on Avian Child by Tekara
11 Sep 2002, 11:53 AM
Enjoyable. Excellent first two stanza's. I found the third weaker overall, I would think about cutting it. Just the last line jarred...I think the "not FAIR" exclamation sounds slightly juvenile. The poem said so much to me until then, that last line seemed to cheapen it. I find the scenario you have built, more than just... unfair...something stronger....cheated? 8.
on 22nd Anniversary by Frass
11 Sep 2002, 12:09 PM
I can smell those herbs. "Asurety surely", trips up the tongue but makes me smile. Like you say "vibrant", that's how i find the whole piece. 8.
on some deleted poem
11 Sep 2002, 12:13 PM
Oh Lord! Starts with teenage angst ends with bible references.1.Oh OK 2. It might (I hope) be ironic and I might be being slow....?
on some deleted poem
11 Sep 2002, 12:20 PM
Fantastic rhythm! The repetition works perfectly for me, I didn't have to scan it twice, it felt so natural. You let your voice trail off, then stress the second "some magic", makes me feel that you don't really know exactly what the magic is (which makes it more mysterious/wonderous).
Love this piece.10.
Love this piece.10.
on 9/11 by dougsoderstrom
13 Sep 2002, 11:39 AM
What's an Iraqian? Talk about know your enemy ;)
on Curse by OneFingerAnswer
13 Sep 2002, 2:57 PM
Pleasant enough. Couple of typos.7.