replying on Coagulated Sentences by J.B. Manning
25 Sep 2003, 4:41 PM
Good try, but I think my flow sounds better.
replying on Coagulated Sentences by J.B. Manning
25 Sep 2003, 2:01 PM
better?
replying on Strung Out On Sunlight by J.B. Manning
23 Sep 2003, 10:42 AM
multi-character thought patterns...
replying on Strung Out On Sunlight by J.B. Manning
18 Sep 2003, 10:52 AM
sleep deprevation caused by meth. "I could find much of one?"
replying on Cyber Junkie by J.B. Manning
17 Sep 2003, 10:48 AM
Manner is correct, die is correct also...it's kind of a tricky line meant to mean what it means as it's writen, whatever it means to you.
Thanks
Thanks
replying on Cyber Junkie by J.B. Manning
17 Sep 2003, 9:30 AM
Thanks! I edited it. HAHA, I hate when I let those overly poetic attempts to sound mystifying get in the way of real writing.
replying on Ode to My Crack by J.B. Manning
11 Sep 2003, 10:07 AM
Thanks for the tips Joe. I was actually planning on revising all of these works while writing some new stuff. Most of my current pieces are from last year when I was recovering from addictions. Once I was clear minded enough to complete a full sentence, I needed to expell these negative energies. Now it's time to revise and polish.
replying on Ode to My Crack by J.B. Manning
10 Sep 2003, 2:43 PM
haha, yeah that will save the day! Let's ALL get our buttocks amputated.
on Mourning Glory by William Delacroix
10 Sep 2003, 12:55 PM
It's pretty good. It's not one of your best, but it's good. Um, I don't think you can use that last line though. I think even using a single line that someone else wrote is still Plagiarism, isn't it?
on What you know by INTRANSIT
10 Sep 2003, 12:50 PM
I like the content, but the flow is somewhat choppy, hard to follow. Nice thought.
on On getting back by horus8
9 Sep 2003, 3:29 PM
Damn...that's one good piece. I'm impressed.
replying on Fury by J.B. Manning
9 Sep 2003, 10:32 AM
We slipped into sadness? Is that a reference to my poem? I don't get the connection. That isn't a verse from this poem.
replying on Failure by Nicholas Jones
9 Sep 2003, 10:01 AM
There is no "Perfect Record," in time. Only or recollection of it. Write on, my friend. You have talent.
on Help The Aged by Mr Pig
8 Sep 2003, 2:23 PM
Mr. Pig, good piece. Hey, can you elaborate on your suggestion for my poem, "Fury," I'm not exactly clear on what you meant. Thanks.
on Failure by Nicholas Jones
8 Sep 2003, 11:26 AM
Interesting. I wonder if you could expand this. Or add more lines, more feeling, more examples. It seems like there is so much more to it. Pretty good though.
on 'Till Then by sliver
8 Sep 2003, 11:22 AM
I like the message, but I want to say that it could be massaged a bit. I think you already have a good sense of the rhythm you want for this poem, but it seems a little...unedited maybe. I do like it, don't get me wrong, but I wanted to suggest some improvement because I think it's well deserved and would make this piece so much better. It has potential.
replying on Child of my Buttocks by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
8 Sep 2003, 11:04 AM
aw, look, Darky's wishfully thinking again, hoping to find a soul mate. Come over here Darky, I'll let you play with my crucifix dildo. It's LOVELY, vibrates in three speeds. :-)
on pErFeCt pAiN by William Delacroix
8 Sep 2003, 10:54 AM
The imagry is wonderful, the passion deadly, and the verse completely beautiful. 10 from me my friend. May I aspire to your skill.
replying on Why by J.B. Manning
8 Sep 2003, 10:48 AM
I think so too, not being a God willing man myself. Where would you suggest? Somewhere to maintain the passion of the question...