on On waiting to pick up my lover on Friday by bigbigdog
20 Sep 2002, 10:45 AM
bigbigcocksucker.
on some deleted poem
22 Sep 2002, 5:13 PM
Mores the pity. What's left of him?
on Spanish fLie by flatliner
23 Sep 2002, 4:46 PM
No entiendo. Todo esta demasiado confuso. El primer verso si se entiende, pero comensando con {si
ay tiempo me olvideras} no sera {si uviera tiempo me olvideras}? During the day we search for a way
to live/If we meet, it is by mistake/ Everything that happened, we shall forget, and,/I know it is not the
truth. (I don't understand what you're talking about).
on some deleted poem
23 Sep 2002, 5:44 PM
Gret example of style over substance. I mean this as high praise. A poem doesn't always have to heavy with weight, but light with sound. The second stanza is delightful. I love picturing you with one eyebrow up, slightly perturbed by her.
on Trespasser at the Men's Bathing Pond by Christof
23 Sep 2002, 6:58 AM
I voted on this but hadn't commented. The title is a stranger to me. I assume the stone-dropper is in S1 is the premoter of your desire in S2 but I keep picturing a man so it puts me off. I prefer S2. Line 4 seems unnecessary I read it without L4 and (spreads) in L3, but that just means I transformed it into something more mine. I particularly like the last line. You have to be brave to rouse another's desire. I haven't seen too much expressing that.
on Here In The Heart of Amber by Lenore
23 Sep 2002, 7:06 AM
This is fantastic. Particularly the last stanza, it is complete in thought, rhythm and rhyme.
on some deleted poem
22 Sep 2002, 6:24 PM
tell her & sadder rhymn like car & Hitler. Are you a painter? Not house but canvas.
on Spellbound by Limness
22 Sep 2002, 5:11 PM
It's good from middle on (sans cats). Last stanza best of them.
on some deleted poem
22 Sep 2002, 4:23 PM
Rustic. Lovely images. Last line is missing (of) me thinks. Lines 3&4 of stanzas 2&3 semm unnecessarily redundant.
on O Man Away From Me by Limness
22 Sep 2002, 4:57 PM
I love the heavy blankets line, have you thought of leaving it there? the next line subtracts from it.
on some deleted poem
20 Sep 2002, 10:11 AM
I was really hoping you might redeem yourself slightly by being halfway descent at this. I expected too much. You're not saying anything. You're cow in the pasture analogy is laughable, and your "unique use of grammer has no poetry in it. Poetry is not a spewing off your own personal philosophies. Poetry reveals experience through the sharing of common images, thus moving the audience to feel what you are trying to express.
on Persephone by Lynn
20 Sep 2002, 10:35 AM
Wow this really is gorgeous. Great images, told in voice of a young woman. The relationships between her and the other actors are fully developed. This is fine. Reminds me of Ann Sexton's Transformations. Have you read them?
on some deleted poem
20 Sep 2002, 10:04 AM
You write about things you know nothing of, and you do it very badly. This looks like a mis-mosh of trite observations you heard at a peace rally. "unrully sink lower" what the hell is that? The 1st stanza is such a twisted mess it is almost completely incomprehensable.
on My Mamma's Hands by amateurR
19 Sep 2002, 4:30 PM
Not bad. Not good but not bad. There's no emotion. I going to a Dodger game and then I'm camping all weekend. Talk with you on Monday.
on some deleted poem
19 Sep 2002, 9:22 AM
face = flavor? This poem is badly written.
on Unveiled by aperfecttool77
23 Sep 2002, 11:02 PM
Why is it so hard for peopppple to express themselves in simile? This is too concrete. Inner conversations do not poetry make.
on some deleted poem
19 Sep 2002, 8:34 AM
Fish out of water. Needs music, all those A.M.I.D.s left gasping.