on An ode to my sugar daddy, but in haiku by horus8
13 Nov 2002, 1:06 AM
No matter how new the tractor, it still looks old. You don't need a gym membership, your skin will pop. The thing I love best about your poems (and you) is that there is no illusion more fantastic than the truth.
on Our New Tongue by Christof
8 Nov 2002, 1:36 AM
I should have given this a ten. So I will.
replying on Perversions by razorgrin
8 Nov 2002, 1:26 AM
You're sicker than she is.
replying on Necromantic Boo-boo by razorgrin
8 Nov 2002, 12:45 AM
From the time they first allow the audience to watch the video clear through, and that firey tree! I was in a cold sweat. The imagery. Haunting in the way I discovered occult books in the library and then started having visions. I had to pray for 2 nights in a row inorder to fall asleep. And the Horse, that Black Nightmare, and his blood and the girl's screaming. Some of the best cinematography ever in the genre. Apparently Razorgrin makes out to the end alive, oh well. I'm more the martyr. Leading them out into the open field so the B-2 can get a clear shot. I'm such a ham.
on Some Things by Christof
7 Nov 2002, 8:12 AM
Your so subtle and as you say, a side-liner, a spectator. The books she's returning as symbols of her new found domesticity, are brilliant. I love all the small details found here. I wonder what would you see, if you could scrutinize me?
replying on Hells Game by Katie
6 Nov 2002, 8:33 AM
The virgins always get backstage, no matter what they've got to say.
on everyone sucks. by kliq
6 Nov 2002, 7:20 AM
I love the ideas here especially S2. 'Love is warm...' is a very insightful line. last 4 lines S3 in particular need dressing up. I think you could really turn this into solid poem if you put more sentiment into it.
on Autumn Cried by lexicon
6 Nov 2002, 7:16 AM
S2 L5 "renewing" sort of brings the mood to a grinding stop. Could you use a synonym? The last stanza I particularly like.
on Little Girl and Mom's mistake by t_t_redhot
5 Nov 2002, 9:01 PM
Poetry is about rendering experience into art. Get it? The mere recounting of events does not poetry make. Look it up. Here is the inspiration, but not the transformation.
replying on the queen of carts by snacktime
5 Nov 2002, 8:48 AM
I think what happened is I was trying to make the discription work for a shopping-cart, do to the title. Perhaps if you changed that, 'queen of the bus stop' not quite but something to that effect, then I'd be more prepared for the 1st image.
replying on Jerk ?? Circle by horus8
5 Nov 2002, 12:21 AM
I am completely dumbfounded and in awe of this comment. You sir are too brilliant for anyone's good. Why do you choose your subject matter as you do? Again you are a flawless and elegant marksman. I pray somewhere on this earth your talents are being used for good instead of evil. I guess that makes me the worst sort of naive bimbo. Oh well. I grow fonder of you every month. Like a pet anaconda who elegantly swallows the neighbors chihuahua, I don't know whether you should be destroyed or rewarded.
on you are my concert by snacktime
4 Nov 2002, 11:44 PM
An easy and intelligent read.
on the queen of carts by snacktime
4 Nov 2002, 11:41 PM
Very effective. I completely ignore the first stanza because I have trouble understanding it. You should either through it out or rework it.
on Tupperware-Caskets by <{Baba^Yaga}>
4 Nov 2002, 5:36 PM
Your son just pissed & poo'd all over my living room floor. Joey is tending to him. In the bath with bubbles. Joey is a doll. Thanks for creating the opportunity for my son to practice being a gentle soul. He is at the moment singing blues clues and scrubbing the toddler free of stinky residue. It could save the world.
on I Love You, My Angel by mytenderrage
4 Nov 2002, 5:00 PM
You must be a masochist. I hate you/I love you/ I hate you/I love you. You could be a saddist. In which case touche! You have caused me incalculable nausea.
on Wandering Spirit by angel_uy
4 Nov 2002, 4:55 PM
Redundant and repetitive. Every line echoes every other line. I think what I'm trying to say is your poem contains a succession of monotonous recapitulations.
Wonderful. The last stanza is as lovely an evocation of the sun as I have ever read. Please find a title for this. L4-S1, is slightly confusing to me, I assume you are speaking of distant stars, but can't quite make the connection. Is this 'she' you refer to the moon?
on Ten solid facts about -=Dark Angel=-, by his biggest palm frond, me. by horus8
4 Nov 2002, 3:06 PM
Better then I ever could have imagined. More please.